Cordell & Cordell Executive/Managing Partner, CEO Scott Trout and Clearfield divorce attorney Melissa DeClue discuss the various ways age can impact divorce.
The issues you face in a divorce case can vary substantially depending on what stage of life you are going through. Learn how to properly prepare for family law matters regardless of your age.
Click the link above to listen to the full podcast episode. Also make sure to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes or whichever podcast app you prefer.
Shawn Garrison is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell & Cordell UK. He has written countless pieces dealing with the unique child custody and divorce issues that men and fathers face. Through his work on CordellCordell.com, CordellCordell.co.uk, and DadsDivorce.com, Mr. Garrison has become an authority on the complexities of the legal experience and was a content creator for the YouTube series “Dad’s Divorce Live” and additional videos on both the Dad’s Divorce and Cordell & Cordell YouTube channels.
Mr. Garrison has managed the sites of these customers, and fostered the creation of several of their features, including the Cordell & Cordell attorney and office pages, the Dad’s Divorce Newsletter, and the Cordell & Cordell newsletter.
Inhale. Exhale. Just focus on your breath. In. Out. Observe your thoughts. This is the practice of meditation, and it’s much easier said than done — especially when you’re married to a narcissist. After all, it’s hard to relax and attain inner peace when you’re walking on eggshells 24/7. And, when you feel you’re to blame for your partner’s negative actions, you don’t exactly want to be alone with your thoughts. Instead, you go numb in an effort to block it all out. At least, that’s what I did.
For four years I endured the rollercoaster that was our marriage. I guess I thought that my then-husband would eventually kick his narcissistic tendencies and put someone else first for a change. Time after time, I showed him grace, and time again he let me down. Eventually, the verbal abuse began to take its toll as I experienced low self-worth, loneliness, anxiety, and depression. Maybe there was something wrong with me. Maybe if I wasn’t so hard to love, he wouldn’t be so angry or manipulative towards me.
When we finally divorced last year, I was still holding onto the belief that I was the problem. I’d made too many mistakes and didn’t deserve to be with someone like him. But I had it all turned around. It wasn’t me. It was him, and meditation helped me realize that.
5 Ways Meditation Helped Me to Heal From My Narcissistic Ex
In the weeks and months following our divorce, I committed to a consistent meditation practice in the name of self-care. I thought that it would give me some time alone to process this huge life change, but it gave me so much more. In fact, it’s helped me heal from my narcissistic ex in ways I couldn’t have ever imagined.
1. Awareness
Awareness is often the first step towards healing for those who’ve suffered narcissistic abuse. Because narcissists cause their victims to question their worth, I was completely unaware that my ex was manipulating and mistreating me.
I didn’t realize that his behavior was to blame until after we’d divorced and I’d begun meditating. By using the breath as a tool, I was able to observe my thoughts, feelings, and reactions and awaken to the truth — he was the problem.
2. Acceptance
Of course, awareness alone isn’t powerful enough to heal such deep wounds. I also had to accept that I had been abused. I was a victim and I needed time to heal, not just from the divorce, but from the years of mistreatment leading up to it.
Admitting that my ex had hurt me and that our marriage had fallen apart because of his selfishness might have been the most difficult part. However, meditation taught me to accept my pain and see it for what it truly is so I could finally move on.
3. Self-Compassion
Of course, you can’t have acceptance without self-compassion. Once I realized that I’d basically let my ex walk all over me, I immediately blamed myself, thereby reinforcing exactly what my ex had told me — it was all my fault. It wasn’t until I forgave myself and practiced self-compassion that I could accept these experiences.
In the same way, meditation teaches us to observe without judgment. What is simply is. You can’t change the past, but you do have the power over the now. So grant yourself a second chance and choose a different path — one that’s more enlightened than before.
4. Emotional Regulation
Narcissistic abuse can have long-term effects on emotional health. Thus, it comes as no surprise that I suffered symptoms of depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. Luckily, meditation can calm the sympathetic nervous system to ease anxiety and depression and improve overall sense of wellbeing. So I made it a consistent part of my routine to reap the benefits.
What I didn’t expect was for the practice to improve my emotional regulation, and the effects were almost immediate. After the first few sessions, I noticed I could more easily reign in my emotions when something triggered my trauma response. Instead of immediately reacting, I could take a few breaths and think before responding. This aspect alone has played a huge role in reversing unhealthy behavioral patterns and undoing old thought processes so I don’t have to relive old traumas.
5. Reclaiming My Identity
My ex said my hair looked ugly so I cut it. He told me I was overweight so I starved myself skinny. In an endless effort to meet his standards and win his affection, I completely changed who I was. The saddest part is my internal dialogue changed, too and I repeated those same insults to myself even after we divorced.
Since then, I’ve been using meditation to reclaim my identity. As I observe my thoughts and self-talk patterns, I learn to quiet the inner critic and give a mic to the inner cheerleader. She speaks kind words over me through positive mantras and deep knowledge of my own value and worth. Of course, the discouraging voices still whisper in my ear, but they’re much less frequent and quieter than before, so I’ll take what I can get.
Taking the First Step
Mediation doesn’t require any special equipment or training. All you need is yourself and a quiet place to lie or sit. This accessibility may be the biggest benefit of all. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I can stop, take a few deep breaths, look within and observe. I have the tools and power to invest in my own health and healing, and so do you. You simply have to take that first tiny step in the right direction. It just so happens that meditation is a great place to start.
Cordell & Cordell Executive/Managing Partner, CEO Scott Trout and Birmingham divorce attorney Jonathan Green break down juvenile dependency hearings.
A juvenile dependency hearing is generally held to determine whether a child’s parent or guardian is abusive or neglectful. In these cases, the juvenile court might temporarily or permanently remove the child from the parent or guardian’s home for their protection. Mr. Trout and Mr. Greene explain how these hearings are conducted, the consequences of the hearing, what you can do to prepare for one, and more.
Click the link above to listen to the full podcast episode. Also make sure to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes or whichever podcast app you prefer.
Shawn Garrison is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell & Cordell UK. He has written countless pieces dealing with the unique child custody and divorce issues that men and fathers face. Through his work on CordellCordell.com, CordellCordell.co.uk, and DadsDivorce.com, Mr. Garrison has become an authority on the complexities of the legal experience and was a content creator for the YouTube series “Dad’s Divorce Live” and additional videos on both the Dad’s Divorce and Cordell & Cordell YouTube channels.
Mr. Garrison has managed the sites of these customers, and fostered the creation of several of their features, including the Cordell & Cordell attorney and office pages, the Dad’s Divorce Newsletter, and the Cordell & Cordell newsletter.
You can find many resources online about toxic and manipulative men. This article is to supplement other research you’ve done and to give you a clear list of signs and red flags you should look for before becoming too involved in a new relationship.
The more aware you are of behaviors specific to toxic, manipulative men the better equipped you are to protect yourself from one. The thing to keep in mind when reading the signs below is that most of these behaviors won’t show up early in a relationship.
Toxic manipulative men only show their true colors once they know you are emotionally invested in them. That is why I warn women to not become too invested in a man, too quickly. Protecting yourself from that kind of toxicity means being able to police your emotions and recognizing the signs when they rear their ugly heads. Good luck with that!
Here are 20 Signs of Toxic and Manipulative Men
1. Gaslighting and crazy-making.
Gaslighting typically happens very gradually in a relationship; in fact, his actions may seem harmless at first. Over time, however, abusive patterns continue and you can become confused, anxious, isolated, and depressed, and can lose all sense of what is actually happening. Then you’ll start relying on the abusive man more and more to define your reality, which creates a very difficult situation to escape.
If he says and does things that cause confusion or you to feel like you are crazy, you’re being gaslighted. If you’re being gaslighted you’ll feel self-doubt, question whether or not you are being overly emotional, become insecure in your role in the relationship and find yourself apologizing for everything that goes wrong in the relationship. It’s psychologically dangerous, get out!
2. Unable to see things from your perspective.
He says something or does something that causes you emotional pain. You attempt to explain to him how you feel but are met with a blank stare or annoyance. He isn’t someone who can see things from your perspective. He isn’t someone who can understand why his actions had any impact on your, negative or positive.
He is the kind of guy who says to you, “I’m not responsible for your feelings.” If he cheats on you, he wants you to get over it. If he doesn’t show up for a planned date, he accuses you of being uptight and controlling. He is a jerk!
3. The ultimate hypocrite.
“Do as I say, not as I do.” He has extremely high expectations for fidelity, respect, and adoration. After the idealization phase, he will give none of this back to you. He will cheat, lie, criticize, and manipulate. But you are expected to remain perfect, otherwise, you will promptly be replaced and deemed unstable.
4. Pathological lying.
Before you even question him about a subject or situation he’ll have a lie ready to tell you. And, when caught lying, he expresses to remorse or embarrassment. He just tries to lie his way out of the original lie. His life is one big lie and so are his feelings for you.
5. He focuses on your mistakes but ignores his own.
This guy needs you to be perfect and to view him as perfect in spite of his bad behavior. Your mistakes will be brought to your attention. He will expect you to be remorseful and to make changes as he sees fit. He, on the other hand, can do no wrong and you better not forget that.
6. The meaning of respect is lost on him.
Normal people understand fundamental concepts like honesty and kindness. The toxic man is childlike in his ability to grasp the concept of not only receiving respect but returning it.
He won’t respect your need for time alone or time with family and friends. He doesn’t respect your boundaries, your career or, your desire to go to the bathroom without an audience. You can tell him dinner is promptly at 8:00 and he will show at 9:00. This guy is downright unmannerly, course and contemptible. Get as far away as possible!
7. Needs to be the center of attention.
This guy wants all your attention, 24/7 your life is supposed to revolve around him. His demand for adoration from you is insatiable. In reality, this guy has no identity without you there to constantly build him up. And, it isn’t even about you. Anyone can give him what he needs…attention. You’re only there because you were the first of fifth he found to do his bidding.
8. Assigns false emotions to you.
He will dismiss your true feelings and assign you feelings that most often mimic what he is feeling. Psychologist and psychiatrists called this “projection.” Projection is a psychological defense mechanism in which he attributes characteristics he finds unacceptable in himself to another person…you.
For example, he may accuse you of wanting to have an affair or being attracted to a close friend or ex. In reality, it is him who may be having an affair or thinking about an affair or, attracted to someone other than you. He has projected his feelings of shame, guilt or desire for someone else off onto you because subconsciously he knows it’s wrong but can’t emotionally face that in himself.
9. Your gut is constantly telling you to investigate.
He has been caught in enough lies that you’ve finally gotten to the point of believing nothing he says. But you’ve also learned to doubt your own gut feelings so, your turn yourself into a private investigator and start stalking him on social media.
Or, maybe following him after work or driving by his home when you two aren’t together. You’re seeking answers to questions and doubts you have that you just can quite explain.
10. Everyone around you thinks he walks on water.
Everyone but you! But there must be something wrong with you if you’re the only one questioning his values, morals, and sincerity. Here is what you need to keep in mind. You’re the only one engaged in an intimate relationship with him. No one sees the side of him you see.
His relationship with those other people is superficial and that is why they don’t see what you see in him!
11. You begin to fear expressing your feelings.
Normal couples argue to resolve issues, but toxic men make it clear that negative conversations will jeopardize the relationship, especially conversations regarding their bad behavior. Any of your attempts to improve communication will typically result in the silent treatment. You apologize and forgive quickly, otherwise, you know he’ll lose interest in you.
12. He disrespects your boundaries.
Boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for herself what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around her and how she will respond when someone steps outside those limits.
If he is repeatedly crossing your boundaries, he isn’t willing to discuss boundaries with you, or you notice he is guilt-tripping you for even having boundaries, your relationship is likely very unhealthy and could become abusive if his behaviors continue and escalate.
13. They belittle and dismiss you.
If you point this out, they call you sensitive and crazy. You might begin to feel resentful and upset, but you learn to push away those feelings in favor of maintaining the peace. They withhold attention and undermine your self-esteem. After once showering you with nonstop attention and admiration, they suddenly seem completely bored by you.
They treat you with silence and become very annoyed that you’re interested in continuing the passionate relationship they created with you. You begin to feel like a chore to them.
14. You’re supposed to be a mind reader.
He doesn’t communicate his needs or plans with you. If he gets pissed because you fail to do something he wanted but you didn’t know about, you’re on the hook because you failed to read his mind.
Guys like this are non-communicators. They are immature romantics who believe, “if she really loved me, she’d know what I need.” You can’t win with this guy because they like to play the victim and what better way to do that than leave you to wonder what they hell they want and need from you.
15. You feel anxious but can’t define why.
Bad relationships will eventually cause anxiety. If you find yourself suddenly feeling unexplained anxiety take a long, hard look at the dynamics of your relationship with him.
If you’re in a relationship with a toxic man you’re most likely constantly stressed out over the state of the relationship, or over-analyzing the constant conflict in the relationship. You probably don’t need meds for anxiety just a new relationship partner!
16. He has a dysfunctional past.
Some toxic men have serious mental health problems and they always have someone to blame them on. If all his exes were bitches, his parents were neglectful and his childhood friends and work friends are all defective…according to him, you can bet his dysfunctional past isn’t about all those people and all about him.
This guy is so messed up that you can bet he will fuck up any relationship he engages in, romantic and otherwise.
17. Stirs the pot, loves conflict.
He is a drama queen! He is always putting his nose into other peoples’ business and conflicts. He isn’t happy and doesn’t want anyone else to be either. He will not be able to get along with your girlfriends. He won’t have friends of his own because he ran them off with his meddling.
This guy is addicted to the adrenaline rush he gets from engaging in conflict. If there isn’t conflict going on, he will find a way to start it.
18. He is in LOVE!
When you first meet, things move extremely fast. He tells you how much he has in common with you—how perfect you are for him. After the first date, he has changed his Facebook status to, “in a relationship.”
He constantly initiates communication and seems to be fascinated with you on every level. You met him on July 3rd and he is already planning a Christmas getaway for the two of you after only two weeks. He is all about pinning you down quickly.
By Christmas there will be no trip, he will have lost interest and you’ll be licking your emotional wounds because you fell for his game, hook, line and sinker.
19. Compares you to other people.
They compare you to ex-lovers, friends, family members, and your eventual replacement. When idealizing, they make you feel special by telling you how much better you are than these people. When devaluing, they use these comparisons to make you feel jealous and inferior.
20. Your admirable qualities become deficiencies.
At first, they appeal to your deepest vanities and vulnerabilities, observing and mimicking exactly what they think you want to hear. But after you’re hooked, they start to use these things against you. You spend more and more time trying to prove yourself worthy to the very same person who once said you were perfect.
FAQs about Toxic, Manipulative Men:
Toxic manipulative menonly show their true colors once they know you are emotionally invested in them. That is why I warn women to not become too invested in a man, too quickly. Protecting yourself from that kind of toxicity means being able to police your emotions and recognizing the signs when they rear their ugly heads. Good luck with that!
Is he gaslighting me?
If he says and does things that cause confusion or you to feel like you are crazy, you’re being gaslighted. If you’re being gaslighted, you’ll feel self-doubt, question whether or not you are being overly emotional, become insecure in your role in the relationship and find yourself apologizing for everything that goes wrong in the relationship. It’s psychologically dangerous, get out!
Is he a pathological liar?
He is a pathological liar if he has a lie ready to tell you before you even question him about a subject or situation. And, when caught lying, he expresses no remorse or embarrassment. He just tries to lie his way out of the original lie. His life is one big lie and so are his feelings for you.
What are the traits of a toxic man?
Normal people understand fundamental concepts like honesty and kindness. The toxic man is childlike in his ability to grasp the concept of not only receiving respect but returning it.
He won’t respect your need for time alone or time with family and friends. He doesn’t respect your boundaries, your career or, your desire to go to the bathroom without an audience. You can tell him dinner is promptly at 8:00 and he will show at 9:00. This guy is downright unmannerly, course and contemptible. Get as far away as possible!
Why does he accuse me of wanting to have an affair?
He may accuse you of wanting to have an affair or being attracted to a close friend or ex. In reality, it is him who may be having an affair or thinking about an affair or, attracted to someone other than you. Psychologists and psychiatrists call this “projection”. Projection is a psychological defense mechanism in which he attributes characteristics he finds unacceptable in himself to another person…you.
Why am I afraid to express my feelings around him?
Normal couples argue to resolve issues,, but toxic men make it clear that negative conversations will jeopardize the relationship, especially conversations regarding their bad behavior. Any of your attempts to improve communication will typically result in the silent treatment. You apologize and forgive quickly, otherwise, you know he’ll lose interest in you.
Q Why does he want me to read his mind?
He doesn’t communicate his needs or plans with you. If he gets pissed because you fail to do something he wanted but you didn’t know about, you’re on the hook because you failed to read his mind.
Guys like this are non-communicators. They are immature romantics who believe, “if she really loved me, she’d know what I need.” You can’t win with this guy because they like to play the victim and what better way to do that than leave you to wonder what the hell they want and need from you.
Cordell & Cordell Executive/Managing Partner, CEO Scott Trout and Amherst divorce attorney Shannon Howley discuss what you need to know about child support modifications.
The majority of divorced fathers end up with monthly child support payments and there are many reasons why you might eventually need to file for a child support modification. Mr. Trout and Ms. Howley chat about how that process works, what might constitute a child support modification, and more.
Click the link above to listen to the full podcast episode. Also make sure to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes or whichever podcast app you prefer.
Shawn Garrison is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell & Cordell UK. He has written countless pieces dealing with the unique child custody and divorce issues that men and fathers face. Through his work on CordellCordell.com, CordellCordell.co.uk, and DadsDivorce.com, Mr. Garrison has become an authority on the complexities of the legal experience and was a content creator for the YouTube series “Dad’s Divorce Live” and additional videos on both the Dad’s Divorce and Cordell & Cordell YouTube channels.
Mr. Garrison has managed the sites of these customers, and fostered the creation of several of their features, including the Cordell & Cordell attorney and office pages, the Dad’s Divorce Newsletter, and the Cordell & Cordell newsletter.
COVID-19 has changed lives, cost people their jobs, and even jeopardized co-parenting relationships among divorced parents. The debate has become so heated that even family law judges are starting to take a stance on the vaccinated/unvaccinated debate.
This particular case involves a mother in Illinois who almost lost shared custody of her son because she did not have the COVID-19 vaccine.
Here’s What Happened When a Family Law Judge Took Custody Away From an Unvaccinated Parent
Just last month, a Cook County judge ruled that a mother, Rebecca Firlit, could not legally see her eleven-year-old son due to her vaccination status.
With the legal and medical aspects of COVID-19 changing rapidly every day, divorced parents who share custody and have opposing views of the COVID-19 vaccine are facing even more strife and high-conflict battles in court.
What happens when parents have opposing views on the COVID-19 vaccine? Both parents may have their own clear arguments to present to the court, but is one argument better than the other? Should an unvaccinated parent have the right to defend his or her own views about the vaccine in a court of law?
Families Divided
Firlit shared custody of her eleven-year-old son with her ex-husband. The couple split seven years ago. The ex-spouses appeared in court on August 10 via a Zoom conference, at which point Cook County Judge James Shapiro asked Firlit if she had received her COVID-19 vaccine.
After Firlit admitted that she did not receive the vaccine, Shapiro reportedly stripped her of her rights to see her son, stating that she would only be allowed to speak to her son via phone or video calls until she received the vaccine.
The shocking ruling raises the question of how judges should deal with an unvaccinated parent, parental rights, and COVID-19 vaccine refusal.
The battle of vaccinated vs. unvaccinated is already causing division among people all over the world. It is now causing even more controversy and division among families and parents who have opposing views on the vaccine – which is just another flame to throw in already heated high-conflict divorce cases.
“He was placing his views on me and taking my son away from me,” Firlit says about the ruling.
A Ruling Reversed
Not long after Shapiro gave his ruling, the judge vacated the order “based on the absence of a pleading or hearing on serious endangerment.”
“Cases like this are not a surprise these days, since in general there seems to be an inability to agree as to basic facts in existence, let alone the proper decisions to make as a parent. The issue will be coming up again and again. Judges will need to decide these issues based on all facts involving the best interests of children. Future parenting agreements may need to more specifically cover these kinds of situations, and they can be hard decisions,” says Chicago family law attorney Paul Feinstein.
Currently, children under the age of twelve years old are not eligible to receive the COVID-19 vaccine, but it appears that these types of cases will only continue to grow as the vaccine debate between parents and people all over the world reaches its boiling point.
Vaccine refusal and legal child custody can bring more strife to an already stressful and heated situation. Is it in a child’s best interest to be away from a parent who is unvaccinated? Are these decisions best left for family law judges to make?
As similar divorce cases continue to appear in the coming months and years, it seems that only time will tell.
Cordell & Cordell Executive/Managing Partner, CEO Scott Trout and Tulsa divorce attorney Colby Pearce discuss common law marriage, including its history, whether it applies in your family law case, how it works, and more.
Click the link above to listen to the full podcast episode. Also make sure to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes or whichever podcast app you prefer.
Shawn Garrison is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell & Cordell UK. He has written countless pieces dealing with the unique child custody and divorce issues that men and fathers face. Through his work on CordellCordell.com, CordellCordell.co.uk, and DadsDivorce.com, Mr. Garrison has become an authority on the complexities of the legal experience and was a content creator for the YouTube series “Dad’s Divorce Live” and additional videos on both the Dad’s Divorce and Cordell & Cordell YouTube channels.
Mr. Garrison has managed the sites of these customers, and fostered the creation of several of their features, including the Cordell & Cordell attorney and office pages, the Dad’s Divorce Newsletter, and the Cordell & Cordell newsletter.
Parents don’t have to leave their visitation and custody schedule up to the decision of a judge. In fact, courts want the best interests of the child to be the top priority. Often, the best interests of the child are that both parents are involved, have frequent contact with their children, and come to an agreement about their custody plan.
Just because you create and submit a proposed child custody agreement, however, does not mean that the judge will automatically accept it.
The Perfect Child Custody Agreement
Here are 3 ways to make sure that your parenting plan gets the stamp of approval from the judge.
Make Your Child’s Well-Being the Top Priority
Set aside your personal agenda and make your childrens’ well-being the top priority when crafting a custody schedule (aka a parenting plan). A judge is not going to look favorably on a parent who tries to use the schedule as a form of revenge.
Put yourself in each of your child’s shoes and think about how the schedule will affect them. Take into account their extracurricular activities and their own personal schedule. Divorce is hard enough on children, do not take away their outlets.
Consider allowing your children (if they are old enough) to voice their input in regards to the schedule. Preface the conversation by telling them that while ultimately you and your ex will have to come to an agreement about what is best for them, you want to hear their input. While you may not be able to accommodate all of their wishes, allowing them to weigh in helps them to feel seen and heard.
The purpose of your parenting plan is to allow your children to continue to have a relationship with both of their parents. This means that you are going to have to compromise with the other party.
Just because you and your ex don’t agree on everything does not mean you need to duke it out in court. Through mediation, parents can negotiate a child custody arrangement (outside of court) that will work best for the children and the family.
Remember, if the court decides on your parenting plan, the outcome is entirely out of your hands. It is better to compromise on a couple of things than wind up with less parenting time and even the right to make certain decisions for your child.
Creating a parenting plan together shows the judge (and your kids) that you are committed to having a healthy co-parent relationship. A judge is more likely to accept a proposed parenting plan if both parents have compromised to sign off on the agreement.
Include the Right Information
It is important that your parenting plan is comprehensive and includes all of the necessary legal details. Some of these details include
Declaration of custody
The division of parental authority and decision-making abilities
A parenting time schedule
Exchanges (pick-up and drop-off logistics)
Holiday/vacation visitation
Childcare
Methods for modifying the custody arrangement
Method of dispute resolution
Response time (how much time does one parent need to allow to pass after contacting the other parent before they can act alone)
Expenses
Many individuals decide to work with a family law attorney to create a parenting plan. A family law attorney will ensure that you include all of the proper information in your parenting plan.
Some individuals choose to use various software programs to help them create their parenting plan. Popular programs include Custody XChange & Our Family Wizard.
Divorce is hard, but it doesn’t have to be riddled with drama. When you put your differences aside and focus on your kids’ well-being, things will fall into place.
Cordell & Cordell Executive/Managing Partner, CEO Scott Trout and Edina divorce attorney Andrew Laufers explain what options exist to appeal family law judgements.
Whenever a decision is handed down in a divorce matter that someone does not agree with, they are left wondering what options they have to potentially overturn the decision. Mr. Trout and Mr. Laufers explain what is meant by an appeal in family law, how the process works, the complications that can arise when appealing a judgment, whether it is a worthwhile endeavor, and more.
Click the link above to listen to the full podcast episode. Also make sure to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes or whichever podcast app you prefer.
Shawn Garrison is an Online Editor for Lexicon, focusing on subjects related to the legal services of customers, Cordell & Cordell and Cordell & Cordell UK. He has written countless pieces dealing with the unique child custody and divorce issues that men and fathers face. Through his work on CordellCordell.com, CordellCordell.co.uk, and DadsDivorce.com, Mr. Garrison has become an authority on the complexities of the legal experience and was a content creator for the YouTube series “Dad’s Divorce Live” and additional videos on both the Dad’s Divorce and Cordell & Cordell YouTube channels.
Mr. Garrison has managed the sites of these customers, and fostered the creation of several of their features, including the Cordell & Cordell attorney and office pages, the Dad’s Divorce Newsletter, and the Cordell & Cordell newsletter.
Being a single mom can definitely be tough, which means that you deserve self-care whenever you can get it! While there are so many forms of self-care, treating yourself is a part of caring for yourself, just like providing for some of your more basic needs. Being a mom is hard, and you deserve the very best!
That’s why when your kids are with your ex, you should take the extra time to treat yourself however sounds the best for you! There are so many ways to treat yourself, and while you may pick just one or two, for now, it’s great to have some ideas in your pocket for later — for the next time you have a free day to yourself!
Whether your ex takes the kids every other weekend, you have an even split or you only have one free weekend a month, it’s important to make the most of your time, but also not put too much pressure on yourself. While that can be a tough balance, so many balancing acts come with being a mom that you can take it easy with this one.
Here are just a few self-care activities to enjoy when you have a little extra time alone.
1. Go to a Workout Class
Squeezing your workout routine can sometimes feel like a workout in itself, but when you suddenly have a free afternoon, you can take the opportunity not just to work out, but to go to a workout class. Of course, there are so many great workouts that you can do from the comfort of your own home, but why not take the time to go out to a class When you don’t have to worry about a babysitter?
2. Watch a Grown-Up Movie
Whether you are the kind of parent who sticks to kid-friendly material all the time or lets more mature subject matters slide, having the time to sit down and watch a truly mature film is unlikely in a house with children. Take some alone time to sit back and soak up something with substance.
3. Cook Yourself Dinner
Yes, you are probably used to whipping up meals for the kids and eating quickly on the go. When was the last time you picked out something truly delectable and took the time to make yourself a dinner just for you? Find a recipe that’s both delicious and nourishing, put on some music, and let yourself play chef!
4. Read a Book
Much like the point about watching movies, it’s difficult to find the time to sit down with a good book when you have your eyes on your kids 24/7. While you have some alone time, crack open that book you’ve been meaning to get around to.
5. Take a Bath
Of course, the most classic of self-care tips! It might be a bit cliché, but it exists for a reason. If you want to give your muscles a bit of extra love and relaxation, run a warm, relaxing bath and take it easy for an evening.
6. Do Something Spontaneous
Children thrive on routine, and oftentimes, so do adults. But every once in a while it can be fun and exciting to do something spontaneous! Whatever you want to do, it’s up to you. Go dancing, decide to change up your plans last minute, or have dessert first! It’s your night, after all.
7. Go On a Date
Are you may have a special someone in your life, or you may be rocking the single life. No matter your relationship status, dates are often pushed to the back burner when the kids are around. So, whether you feel like going on a first date with somebody new or spending some time with a new fling, set aside some time to be romanced!
8. Make Some Calming Tea
If you happen to be spending the night in, tea is a great little ritual that you can use to relax and calm yourself. You can even seek out a special blend two feel a bit fancy on your night in.
9. Or Have a Glass of Wine
If you aren’t much of a tea person, you can always go with a classic glass of wine on your night in. You don’t even have to wait until the kids are in bed to kick back with a little drink that you deserve. You can even have it with dinner!
10. Meditate
If you’re truly in the market to relax, why not take the time to look in word and find a bit of stillness while your house is quiet? Even though you may need to slip away for five-minute meditations when the kids are around, you can take this time to treat yourself to that hour-long Zen session that you’ve been craving. Whether you go to a class or enjoy a guided meditation from your own home, you deserve to feel relaxed and calm.
Treating Yourself as a Single Mom
There are so many ways that you can treat yourself when you have a bit of time alone. You deserve all the self-care in the world, no matter how often you actually find the time to make it happen. From getting your body moving to find a bit of stillness, you can have the self-care session that single moms need. Do you have a favorite self-care technique?
