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A Complete Guide to Getting a Divorce

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Chris Sweetman
Chris Sweetman
Editor at The Divorce Magazine
Director at Fair Result

Divorce, a term that carries weight and often marks a significant turning point in one’s life. Navigating through the complexities of divorce requires not only emotional resilience but also a practical understanding of the legal and financial aspects involved.

In this comprehensive guide, we’ll delve deeper into key elements of the divorce process, including the shift towards no-fault divorce, effective co-parenting strategies, the importance of fair divorce settlements, and managing finances during and after divorce.

I. Understanding Divorce:

A. The Decision-Making Process:

1. Emotional considerations:
Embarking on the path of divorce is a deeply emotional journey. The decision-making process involves navigating complex feelings of sadness, anger, and uncertainty. Acknowledging and understanding these emotions is paramount for making informed and rational decisions during this challenging time.

2. Seeking counselling and professional advice:

In this emotionally charged process, seeking professional guidance becomes a crucial pillar of support. Whether through therapy or a legal representative, professionals can provide not only practical advice but also emotional support, helping individuals navigate the intricate decisions involved in the process.

B. Legal Grounds of Divorce:

1. No-fault divorce:
The legal landscape of divorce has evolved, as we see the introduction of the no-fault divorce system. This legal procedure enables a married couple to end their union without having to establish that one partner was at fault for the marriage’s dissolution. Therefore, neither spouse is required to present proof of infidelity, abandonment, or any other type of marital impropriety.

II. Shaping Co-Parenting Relationships:

A. Importance of Co-Parenting:

1. Prioritising children’s wellbeing:
Focussing on the wellbeing of children becomes a central tenet in co-parenting. This involves creating a stable and nurturing environment, shielding children from unnecessary disruptions, and ensuring their emotional needs are met throughout the process.

2. Effective communication between co-parents:
Establishing open lines of communication is fundamental for successful co-parenting. It is important that there is an effective level of dialogue between divorced parents to ensure that decisions align with the best interests of the children.

B. Crafting a Co-Parenting Plan:

1. Custody arrangements:
Navigating the complexities of custody arrangements involves understanding the available options and tailoring them to suit the unique needs of the family. It is important that as a couple and with your legal representatives, you discuss the various options and possible implications of these.

2. Creating a supportive environment for children:
Beyond legalities, creating a supportive environment for children is paramount. This is not just a difficult time for you and your ex, it is difficult time for the children. It is important that you foster a positive atmosphere for the children during and after the divorce, emphasising their emotional wellbeing.

Conclusion:

Going through separation is undoubtedly challenging, but with the right knowledge and support, it can also be a transformative process leading to a brighter future. For a more in-depth understanding and valuable insights, download Fair Result’s Free Guide to Divorce, which offers expert advice and practical tips to empower you throughout your journey.

About Chris Sweetman

Chris Sweetman is an independent family solicitor, Editor at The Divorce Magazine, and Director of Fair Result – An award-winning law office who pride themselves on using innovative ways to help clients through the stress and complications of a marriage break down.

Chris can be contacted on 07500933818 or via email chris@fair-result.co.uk.


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One-stop resource with expert articles, a community forum, free DIY divorce forms, and a marketplace of on-demand divorce professionals. The marketplace has on-demand access to divorce professionals, like lawyers, custody experts, mediators, & more online divorce, divorce forum, online divorce lawyer, free divorce forms Take charge of your divorce with educational articles written by experts in family law, divorce, child custody, divorce and life coaching, child psychology, accounting, and more.
One-stop resource with expert articles, a community forum, free DIY divorce forms, and a marketplace of on-demand divorce professionals. The marketplace has on-demand access to divorce professionals, like lawyers, custody experts, mediators, & more online divorce, divorce forum, online divorce lawyer, free divorce forms Take charge of your divorce with educational articles written by experts in family law, divorce, child custody, divorce and life coaching, child psychology, accounting, and more.

How Long Does a Divorce Take to Finalize?

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How Long Does a Divorce Take to Finalize?

Nothing is more important than your family. LJ Law is a Family Law Firm in Las Vegas, Nevada. We offer help in cases such as Divorce, Child Custody and Visitation, Child Support, Pre and Post-Nuptial Agreements, Annulments, Alimony, Adoption, Guardianship, Paternity and much more.

Learn More at our Website:
www.ljlawlv.com/family-law/

Want to Discuss Further? Let’s Set Up a Meeting:
www.VegasDivorceMeeting.com

Contact Us:
Email: info@LJLawLV.com
Call: (702) 998-1188

DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION SHARED IN THIS CONTENT IS FOR GENERAL INFORMATION PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT, NOR IS IT INTENDED TO BE, LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONSULT AN ATTORNEY FOR ADVICE REGARDING THE SPECIFIC FACTS AND CIRCUMSTANCES OF YOUR INDIVIDUAL SITUATION. REVIEWING THE INFORMATION ON THIS SITE AND/OR CONTACTING US DOES NOT CREATE AN ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP. PLEASE DO NOT SEND ANY CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR CASE TO US UNTIL SUCH TIME AS AN ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED.

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Divorce Corp Film: Prenups Don't Work (Documentary)

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SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE Divorce Corp VIDEOS: http://www.youtube.com/user/DivorceCorp?sub_confirmation=1

If you would like to get involved, visit www.divorcecorp.com.

If you think your interests are protect by having a prenuptial agreement, you’re wrong. With such a convoluted system, not even the tightest contract can hold up.

Divorce Corp, which premiered in theaters January 10, 2014 and is now available on DVD, Blu-ray and as a digital download on iTunes, is an explosive documentary that exposes the appalling waste, and shameless collusive practices within the U.S. family law industry. More money and more people flow through the family courts than any other court system in America combined – now grossing over $50 billion a year.

Divorce Corp on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/divorcecorp
Divorce Corp on Web: http://www.divorcecorp.com
Divorce Corp on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/divorcecorp
Divorce Corp on Twitter: https://twitter.com/divorcecorp
Divorce Corpon Google +: https://plus.google.com/u/0/101299583774609840804

CREDITS:

Narrated by: Dr. Drew Pinsky
Dr. Drew on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/officialdrdrew
Dr. Drew on Twitter: https://twitter.com/drdrew

Directed by: Joe Sorge

Producers: Philip Sternberg, James Scurlock

Production Company: Candor Entertainment
http://www.candortv.com/

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The Power of a Support Group for Divorce

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Have you ever found yourself pondering if there exists a shortcut to navigate the arduous journey of divorce? Is there a hidden secret to achieving a happily ever after in the realm of post-divorce life? If you’re curious, allow me to share some enlightening insights that may not have crossed your mind: a divorce support group.

Gone are the days when divorce was shrouded in shame and secrecy. In today’s society, where the divorce rate among Americans ranges from 40% to 50% for first marriages and 65% to 70% for second marriages (depending on the study you consult), divorce has become as normalized as enjoying a slice of birthday cake. Interestingly, it seems that some individuals actually have more reservations about indulging in cake than they do regarding the topic of divorce itself. But I digress.

A Shortcut to Navigating the Emotional Stress of Divorce

Let me assure you, my friend, that there is indeed a shortcut to help navigate the emotional challenges of divorce. A divorce support group can provide solace, understanding, and a sense of community during this transformative phase of life. Through shared experiences, compassionate guidance, and a network of fellow individuals who have endured similar journeys, you can find the support needed to heal and thrive beyond divorce.

So, if you’re seeking a path to healing amidst the pain, consider embracing the power of a divorce support group. It’s an opportunity to embark on a new chapter, discover personal growth, and ultimately find your way to a fulfilling life beyond the complexities of divorce.

Banding Together

With so many people finding themselves on the other side of the matrimony altar, it is no wonder that women especially (men do too, but in far lower numbers) have banded together to give voice to their pain and bolster each other through the difficult times during divorce. Many of us feel lost and isolated throughout the divorce process. Whether you are contemplating pulling the trigger, your spouse pulled the trigger, you are in the murky, muddy middle of the process, or even are on the other side of divorce with your head spinning, joining an online divorce support group may be just the thing to help you along the road to happiness.

Divorce Support Groups Provide Emotional Support

Remember when you were 14, and the boy you loved with all your heart told you he was going out now with the new girl in school, and he just wanted to be friends with you? Remember the great relief you felt in letting all of the heartbreak out while sobbing on your best friend’s shoulder in the sanctuary of her bedroom? How it was even better when a few other besties joined in to listen to you and helped you plot your revenge? Divorce support groups serve the same purpose without the revenge component (usually).

This is now grown-up grief, but the concept is the same. There is comfort and healing when sharing your pain with others, especially when they are in the same or similar situation. A divorce support group is a nonjudgemental place where you can safely express your jumble of emotions, begin sorting through them, discover commonalities with other group members, and, most importantly, move forward. You can gain new perspectives from others dealing with the same sorts of issues, and this can also help you look at things differently and find ways to move forward.

Divorce support group members provide empathy and validation, letting you know that what you are going through is normal. Making the experience normal is hugely important, as now you know that you are not the only one going through this. Others can share how they dealt with, or continue to deal with, the many aspects of divorce that are inherent to this journey. Fear of the unknown? Everyone raises their hands. Overwhelmed with the paperwork? All hands raised. Guilt over choosing your happiness over keeping the spouse calm? Check. Feeling like this will never end, with all the delays? Yep. Confusion over entering this brand new phase of your life? Welcome to the club. You are not alone!

Validation and Empowerment

As mentioned before, joining a support group for divorce can have a profound impact on your healing journey. Not only does it provide validation for your feelings, but it also reassures you that what you’re experiencing is completely normal, given the circumstances. By listening to others’ experiences, you forge a deep connection and draw strength from witnessing how they navigate the various stressors that come with divorce.

In this safe space, there is so much to gain from each other. Sharing your strategies, triumphs, and even setbacks feels liberating. It’s equally inspiring to witness the creativity and perseverance of others as they overcome the challenges dealt by their exes. Some may even appear as if they’ve survived a zombie apocalypse, but their mere presence in the group is a testament to their resilience.

For those who are currently struggling to get out of bed and fulfill their daily responsibilities, it’s a lifeline to know that hope exists. Imagine knowing that two other group members have been exactly where you are this week and have managed to survive. Picture three other members who have mastered the art of preparing lunches the night before, allowing them to focus on ensuring each kid has the correct backpack in the morning. This knowledge empowers you with the certainty that you, too, will not only survive this challenging time but also thrive.

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about the future, remember that you’re not alone. A divorce support group can provide the support, guidance, and community you need to navigate this chapter of your life with strength and resilience.

Others have been through the fire and are sharing their stories with you now, right when you need it the most. When it is your time to share your victories, that is a feeling that can carry you through the next week. Just in time for the next group. You are not alone.

Information and Resources

Support groups provide an invaluable platform for individuals to share vital information and resources. Within these groups, members can offer valuable tips on finding top-notch attorneys, share effective coping skills, provide insightful parenting advice, and exchange other timely gems of knowledge. Moreover, support groups serve as a gateway to a wealth of connections with trusted professionals, including attorneys, mental health professionals, and financial advisors, to name a few. In addition to this, participants can freely exchange helpful books, articles, or other relevant materials, all for the greater good. Remember, you don’t have to face it all on your own when support groups are there to lend a helping hand. 

Online Support Group for Divorce

The great thing about technology is that it has opened up new avenues for support during difficult times, such as divorce. Intentional Divorce Solutions understands that attending a support group in person can be challenging, which is why we now offer online divorce support groups, conveniently conducted via Zoom. 

With our online divorce support groups, you no longer have to worry about finding parking or spending time on travel. You can join from the comfort of your own home, wearing whatever makes you feel most comfortable. All you need is the desire to connect with others who are going through similar experiences and an hour of your time. 

Support groups are truly invaluable when it comes to navigating the complexities of divorce and finding your way to a more stable and fulfilling future. At Intentional Divorce Solutions, we believe that no one should have to go through this journey alone. 

We offer online divorce support groups for both women and men, providing a safe and non-judgmental space to openly discuss your challenges. If you’re interested in joining our online support group, please reach out to us. We are here to support you during this transformative time in your life. Remember, you have nothing to lose and so much to gain. 

 

Frequently Asked Questions About Our Online Divorce Support Groups

Q: How often does the group meet?

A: Every week, without fail, each group gathers together for a dedicated hour of productive and collaborative engagement.

Q: Where do meetings take place?

A: Nowadays, with the rise of remote work and virtual collaboration, meetings have transitioned to taking place via Zoom, a popular and widely used video conferencing platform that allows participants to connect from different locations seamlessly.

Q: Do you limit the group size?

A: Groups are currently limited to a maximum of 10 people in accordance with the latest guidelines. This measure has been put in place to ensure the safety and well-being of everyone involved, as we navigate through these challenging times. Your cooperation and understanding are greatly appreciated.

Q: What topics are discussed during the online divorce support group? 

A: Our online divorce support groups cover a wide range of topics related to the divorce process, including emotional healing, co-parenting strategies, and planning for your future. We also provide a safe space for participants to share their personal experiences and offer support and guidance to one another. Each session is facilitated by a trained professional who specializes in divorce coaching.

Q: How can I try one of your online divorce support groups?

A: We are excited to offer you a complimentary trial of our services! Take advantage of this opportunity by signing up for our free trial at https://www.greatlakesdfs.com/divorce-support-groups. Discover the support and guidance you need during this challenging time. Don’t miss out on this chance to experience the benefits of our divorce support groups.

 

 

 

 




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Homeownership after Divorce: A Guide

Embarking on the path to homeownership after divorce is a transformative journey- one that holds both challenges and empowerment. With 24 years of real estate and development expertise and personal experience overcoming divorce, I am here to provide compassionate insights and practical advice to help you embrace independence, build confidence, and open a new chapter in your life through the purchase of your own new home and/or selling the family home.

 

First, you must acknowledge your emotions. Facing divorce is emotionally challenging. Recognize the mix of emotions, fear, uncertainty, and excitement all coming together while you work through the process of divorcing. As your Realtor, I offer guidance through the real estate process and if needed, can connect you with approved and vetted professionals for financial, mediation, legal advice and coaching or therapy.

 

Together, we will navigate this emotional time with a supportive network. I will be your partner, offering expert guidance and insights to empower your informed choice. In addition to my divorce professional team, I will include my real estate team of lenders, inspectors, designers and more to support your unique needs and help foster confidence in making one the biggest financial decisions.

 

Overcoming your financial fears is step two. Financial stability is a significant concern during and after divorce. You are not alone, and there are strategies to address these fears. We’ll establish a realistic budget, explore financing options, and prioritize your needs for a financially secure future that includes home ownership after divorce. My extensive network of lenders and financial planners provides unique insights tailored to the impact of divorce on your buying or selling position. Once your financial position is defined, we can move on to step three and set out helping you find and purchase a home post-divorce.

 

This new home will symbolize your newfound independence. The journey is an opportunity to create a space reflecting your personality as well as your needs. I know that one of the most exciting days for me was the day I closed on my home – by myself. Together, we’ll explore neighborhoods, and I will hone in on meeting your particular housing needs and wants. I’ll work with you to find the perfect fit, considering neighborhood, location to work, transportation, schools, restaurants, cafes, shopping, dog parks and other amenities to meet your specific needs– you name it I’ll help you find it.

 

Karen Ranquist - Broker Associate at Berkshire Hathaway Chicago

Practical considerations for home ownership after divorce:

 

Know your finances. This sounds much easier than it often is while going through a divorce. Whether your divorce is amicable or complicated there will be important things you need to be in front of. What are your assets? If you are a double income family or a stay at home mom your income will likely be lower when you embark on a solo home purchase. Here are some simple steps to jump start the process and begin to consider:

 

1. Review your credit and know your assets.
2. Talk to a lender and get a pre-approval letter (this will require having a good deal of personal financial information to share with the lender).
3. Set a realistic timetable. You will likely need at minimum a temporary settlement in place and often a final settlement to purchase your home.
4. Finalize your divorce settlement – this will ensure there will be no unexpected expenses that will impact your ability to close on your new home.
5. Decide what to do with your family home. A sale if often the best option and the cleanest. There are other options (my ex bought me out but that was complicated…) understand your best option.
6. Ensure you are off the mortgage and the deed. Be sure the title of the marital home is settled.

I know first-hand that homeownership after divorce signifies freedom and liberation – a space to redefine and rediscover yourself. Having gone through a divorce myself, I understand its impact and importance. Let’s work together to ensure your home becomes a sanctuary fostering personal growth, independence, and freedom.

 

Embarking on homeownership post-divorce is a significant step toward reclaiming your independence and building a promising future. I am committed to turning your dreams into reality. Let’s make your new home a haven of empowerment, confidence and freedom marking the beginning of a new empowered chapter in your life.

Karen Ranquist

Karen Ranquist started her real estate career in 1997. Prior to that, she worked for five years as a licensed social worker in Chicago Public Schools. She became a full service agent in 1999 and was instantly recognized as a Rookie of the Year at her initial company.

Since then, she has worked her way to the top of the ranks in Chicago’s competitive real estate market. In addition to being a broker with Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Chicago, Karen was the primary real estate broker for a highly regarded builder of custom properties in the city. This extensive insight gives her an unparalleled background in home construction, materials, and design, in addition to her thorough knowledge of the Chicago housing market.

Karen’s expertise lies in working with contemporary single-family homes, condominiums, row homes, and new construction projects throughout the city, with a focus in Bucktown, Wicker Park, Logan Square, Ukrainian Village, Lincoln Park, and Lakeview neighborhoods.

Decades of experience have taught her the value of superior brokerage and impeccable customer service. Karen has been an annual Top Producer throughout her 20+ year career, is consistently a top producer in the Chicago Association of Realtors, and has been a Hall of Fame member at Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Chicago for the past 7 years. Among being honored by a variety of awards and in publications detailing her distinctive success, in 2018-2020 she has been honored by Crain’s Custom Media as “Most Influential Residential Real Estate Broker” and featured “The Who’s Who in Chicago Real Estate” by Chicago Agent Magazine.

She has remained active in the community and served seven years on the Chicago Association of Realtors Grievance Committee and as former Vice President of the Women’s Council of Realtors.

 

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Creating a Balanced Budget: Mastering Basic Budget Percentage Allocation

Creating a balanced budget is a crucial step toward achieving financial stability and freedom. It allows you to track your income and expenses, make informed financial decisions, and work towards your financial goals.

One effective approach to budgeting is using the basic budget percentage allocation method. Let’s walk through the process of creating a budget based on the following categories:

1. Security
2. Shelter
3. Sustenance
4. Self/Family
5. Social
6. Society
7. Soul

Let’s dive in!

Step 1: Determine Your Total Income

To create a budget, you need to know your total income.

This includes your salary, freelance earnings, rental income, or any other sources of income. Having a clear picture of your earnings is crucial for accurate budgeting.

Step 2: Understand the Categories

Each category in the basic budget percentage allocation method serves a specific purpose:

1. Security (15% of Income): This category encompasses emergency savings, insurance premiums, and contributions to retirement funds. Building a safety net is essential to protect yourself and your loved ones from unforeseen financial challenges.

2. Shelter (30% of Income): This category covers housing-related expenses such as rent or mortgage payments, property taxes, and utilities. Ensuring stable and comfortable living arrangements is a top priority.

3. Sustenance (15% of Income): Allocate this portion of your income to cover grocery expenses and other essential items required for daily living.

4. Self/Family (15% of Income): Invest in personal development, education, and family activities within this category. It includes expenses related to health, fitness, and personal growth.

5. Social (8% of Income): Use this category for entertainment, dining out, hobbies, and socializing with friends and loved ones. Maintaining a healthy social life is essential for overall well-being.

6. Society (10% of Income): Giving back to the community is crucial. Allocate a portion of your income to charitable donations and contributions to causes you believe in.

7. Soul (7% of Income): Nurture your inner self through experiences like travel, vacations, hobbies, and spiritual pursuits. This category is all about personal fulfillment and enriching your soul.

Step 3: Apply the Percentage Allocations

Now that you have a clear understanding of each category, calculate the percentage of your income that should be allocated to each one.

For example, if your total income is $4,000 per month, the allocations would be as follows:

  • Security: $600 (15% of $4,000)
  • Shelter: $1,200 (30% of $4,000)
  • Sustenance: $600 (15% of $4,000)
  • Self/Family: $600 (15% of $4,000)
  • Social: $320 (8% of $4,000)
  • Society: $400 (10% of $4,000)
  • Soul: $280 (7% of $4,000)

Step 4: Monitor and Adjust

Creating a budget is not a one-time task; it requires continuous monitoring and adjustment. Track your expenses regularly and compare them to your allocated percentages.

If you find that you’re overspending in certain categories, consider cutting back in others to maintain balance.

Mastering the basic budget percentage allocation method empowers you to take control of your financial future.

By dividing your income into specific categories, you can build a budget that aligns with your goals and priorities. Stay disciplined, make informed decisions, and watch as your financial health improves over time.

Remember, a well-structured budget is the foundation for a secure and prosperous future.

Happy budgeting!

 

 




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Divorced and Dating After 50: What Women Must Know

Embarking on the journey of being divorced and dating after 50 can be a blend of exhilaration and introspection. This chapter in your life is about much more than finding someone new.

It’s about rediscovering who you are and embracing the future with (growing) confidence and curiosity. Whether you’re eagerly stepping into the dating scene or are more cautious, this article is for you – a resilient woman ready to explore the possibilities that life offers after 50.

The New Dating Landscape

As you step into the world of dating after being divorced at 50, think of it as opening a new book filled with intriguing stories yet to be read.

Online dating, now a prevalent chapter in the modern romance novel, offers pages of potential suitors, each with their own narrative to share. Crafting your profile is like writing the introduction to your own story, where honesty and personality invite the right readers (aka potential suitors) into your life.

Beyond the digital realm, the timeless tradition of meeting through shared interests, friends, and community events continues to thrive. Perhaps you will rekindle with a past flame? We know more than a few women who reconnect with past “interests” on Facebook. These encounters are like unexpected plot twists, often leading to the most memorable and meaningful connections.

As you develop this new chapter, remember to balance the excitement of exploration with the wisdom of experience.

Trusting your intuition is paramount, as it acts as your internal compass, guiding you through this novel experience.

And please, whether meeting online or in person, prioritize your safety and comfort, allowing you to fully enjoy each new encounter as part of your ongoing story.


Consider reading “Online Dating: 5 Must Do’s for Staying Safer After Divorce.”


Emotional Readiness for Dating

As you turn the pages to this new chapter of being divorced and dating after 50, it’s essential to reflect on your emotional readiness. This period in your life isn’t just about meeting someone new. It’s also, and arguably most importantly, about being in tune with yourself. Consider this a time for introspection, where you evaluate your readiness to welcome someone into your life again.

What often determines whether you are genuinely ready to date is your recognition of and healing from the scars of your past.

This healing might mean seeking support from friends, a therapist, or the right divorce recovery group, allowing yourself to fully process the end of your marriage. Remember, there’s strength in acknowledging vulnerabilities and working through them.

And then when you are ready to embark on exploring new relationships, you will be carrying more of the lessons from your past and less of the baggage. The lessons are your invaluable guides for navigating the complexities of dating.

Setting Realistic Expectations and Boundaries

In the unfolding story of your dating life after 50, setting realistic expectations and boundaries is like crafting the chapters of your future relationships. It’s about knowing what storylines you are willing to explore, and which plots no longer interest you. 

What are the themes you want in this new chapter?

Maybe it’s companionship, a shared love for adventure, or simply someone who appreciates quiet evenings. Being clear about what you’re seeking helps guide the narrative of your interactions.

Keep in mind that it’s natural for your preferences and expectations to evolve over time. Embrace these changes as part of your character development. When you meet new people, share your expectations and listen to theirs. This open exchange sets the stage for a relationship where both of you understand and respect each other’s roles.

Setting boundaries is like defining the genre of your book. It’s about knowing what elements you want in your story and what you want to leave out. This might relate to how you communicate, your personal space, or the pace at which your relationship progresses.

Remember, boundaries are about writing your story in a way that’s true to you and not about limiting your story in any way.

As you author this new chapter of your life, trust in your wisdom and experiences. They are your guide in creating a narrative that resonates with your values and desires. Clear expectations and boundaries not only make for a compelling story but also attract those who want to be part of it and appreciate it for what it is.

Communication and Independence

In the next pages of your life story, where you’re both divorced and dating after 50, maintaining a balance between clear communication and independence becomes pivotal. Think of this as crafting dialogue in your book where every character’s voice matters.

Especially yours.

Effective communication is the cornerstone of any meaningful relationship. It involves not only expressing your thoughts and feelings but also actively listening to your potential partner.

Share your experiences, dreams, and even fears. This level of openness paves the way for a deeper understanding and connection. However, ensure that this exchange is reciprocal. A good relationship is like a dynamic conversation where both parties contribute equally.


Check out “Dating After a Gray Divorce: Must-Knows for Thinking Women”


While weaving your tale of new relationships, don’t lose sight of your independence – it’s one of the central themes of your story. Your independence is a testament to your strength and resilience, qualities that have been honed over time, and tempered by your divorce. 

Cherish your hobbies, friendships, and personal goals. They make your life story rich and multifaceted.

In any new relationship, strive for a partnership where your independence is respected and valued, not overshadowed.

Remember, the most captivating stories are those where characters grow together yet maintain their unique essence. As you explore new romantic chapters, keep writing your own story, one where your independence and voice remain central.

Embracing Self-Growth

Writing your own story of being divorced and dating after 50, requires full chapters where self-growth takes center stage. This period in your life can be as much about internal exploration and development as it is about forming new romantic connections.

Think of this time as an opportunity to add depth to your character.

Consider engaging in activities that enrich you personally and intellectually. This could be picking up a new hobby like pickleball or volunteering at an organization that inspires you. It could mean learning a skill you’ve always been interested in, like swimming or motorcycle riding, or learning Spanish. It could also mean really leaving the divorce behind with solo travel, or simply dedicating time to self-care and reflection. Such pursuits not only make your life more fulfilling but also make you more attractive to others. They add layers to your character, making you and your story more interesting and textured.

Self-growth also involves understanding and loving yourself.

Keep self-love as a powerful theme in your story, one that attracts relationships that are respectful and nurturing. 

Also, know that it’s perfectly okay to be content with being single. Sometimes, the most enriching relationships are those we have with ourselves. Your story doesn’t need another character to be complete. It’s already whole with you in the center of its universe.

Overcoming Common Fears

It’s natural to encounter chapters filled with apprehension and uncertainty as your story of being divorced and dating after 50 unfolds. Common fears such as the worry of not being good enough, the dread of rejection, or the anxiety of the unknown may emerge. However, these are merely plot twists in your journey, not the end.

Acknowledge these fears as part of the narrative, but don’t let them dictate your story.

Treat them as opportunities for character development. Just as protagonists in stories face and overcome challenges, use these moments to build your resilience and courage.

Confronting the fear of rejection, for example, can be empowering. It teaches you about resilience and the value of moving forward. The fear of the unknown becomes less daunting when you view each experience as a chance to learn something new about yourself and the world of dating.


Read “100 Must Do’s for the Newly Divorced Independent Woman.”


After all, you have already gained strength through your life experiences. Remind yourself, you have already survived divorce! You’ve navigated far greater challenges in the past, and you have the wisdom and fortitude to overcome these fears too. Each step you take in facing these fears is a testament to your courage, adding depth to your personal narrative.

In this chapter of your life, you are wise enough to know to embrace these fears not as barriers, but as stepping stones to growth and new experiences.

With each fear you face and overcome, your story becomes even more inspiring and empowering.

Final Thoughts

As you bring these writing prompts for your chapter on ‘divorced and dating after 50’ to a close, remember that your story is unique, and so is your journey. Whether you find love again or choose to cherish your independence, what matters most is that you stay true to yourself. Your experiences, both past and present, have shaped you into a remarkable character with depth, resilience, and wisdom.

Above all, cherish the freedom you have to write your own story. This chapter of your life is an opportunity to explore and find joy in whatever form it presents itself. Whether through companionship or solo adventures, the pages ahead are yours to fill with vibrant experiences and stories worth telling.

And remember, your journey doesn’t end here. It’s a new chapter in the incredible story of your life, one that you continue to author with each new day. Grab hold of your pen!

NOTES

Whether you are navigating the divorce experience or its aftermath, one thing we see making a significant difference for women is the conscious choice to NOT DO IT ALONE. 

Since 2012, smart women around the world have chosen SAS for Women to partner them through the emotional, financial, and oftentimes complicated experience of reinvention. Hear feedback, next steps and what there is to look forward to on the Other Side. Schedule your FREE 15-minute consultation with SAS now.

 

*We support same-sex marriages. For the sake of simplicity in this article, however, we refer to your spouse as your “husband” or a “he.”


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Why co-parents should stop using the words visit, visitation, and custody.

ARE YOU GUILTY OF USING THIS FIVE-LETTER WORD WITH YOUR KIDS?

Ever have a word that as makes you cringe every single time you hear it?  Yeah, me too. (Actually, TBH, I have several but let’s not go there…)

Recently during one of my coaching calls, a divorced co-parent I was working with casually dropped a little five-letter word that always stops me dead in my tracks.

It wasn’t the first time I’d heard a parent say it, and sadly, I know it won’t be the last. As a matter of fact, I see it used all over the internet and frequently notice other respected divorce professionals tossing it around too.

The thing is… whenever I hear it, I just can’t LET. IT. GO.

She was a divorced mom who had called me in a blind panic. Things had taken a turn for the worst since her kids had moved in with their father, and she was desperate to get things back on track. Sadly Dad wasn’t helping the situation and had been badmouthing Mom at every turn.

As a result, her children were becoming more distant and starting to grumble about spending time with her. The really disturbing thing…just a few months ago, everything had been fine between her and her kids.

As she laid out the details of her situation, that’s when this cringe-worthy five-letter beauty got blurted out.

The big offender, you ask?  V-I-S-I-T.

Let me explain…

WHY YOU SHOULD STOP USING THE WORD VISIT AFTER YOUR DIVORCE

WHY COPARENTS SHOULD STOP USING THE WORD VISIT AFTER YOUR DIVORCE.

At the start of the session, I asked Mom what things were like when the kids were with her. She replied, “Well, when the children “visit” me (cringe), they seem to be very detached. And now they’re saying they don’t want to come over for their “visitation weekends” (more cringing). I don’t know what to do.”

Now you might be saying to yourself, “Seriously, Christina? What’s the big deal?  It’s just a word. AND BTW… it sounds like these kids don’t live with Mom full-time. Why wouldn’t you call their time with her a visit?”

In my book, “visit” and “visitation” are not just words.  They’re concepts.  Concepts that do a huge disservice to children and parents AND completely undermine the value of family.

On the surface, it might seem pretty harmless. After all, what do you do when someone visits you?

Well…most of us set our sights on entertaining our guests and having a good time. If you’re a decent host, you probably also go out of your way to make your guests feel comfortable.  We do all of this with the expectation that the time we have with our guests is TEMPORARY and PRECIOUS.  So we pack it with fun and keep things light.

Sounds like a pretty good deal, right?

I mean, what kid wouldn’t want to be entertained and have fun when they’re spending time with you?  And on the flip side, as a parent (who might not have a lot of time with your children), those days are precious. Why wouldn’t you do everything you could to make the time you have with your kids exciting and enjoyable?

Here’s the problem.

CHILDREN AND CO-PARENTS ARE NOT VISITORS IN EACH OTHER LIVES, THEY ARE FAMILY.

A divorce ends a marriage, not a family.  All those needs children have before the split will still be there after co-parents part. AND that includes feeling a sense of belonging and connectedness.

Regardless of how time is spent between the households, kids need to know that they still share a life with each of their parents and that they will continue to be a permanent fixture in their day-to-day lives.

As a divorce coach and parent educator with twenty-some-odd years under my belt, I’ve seen a lot of shifts in the culture of divorce. From sole custody to joint custody, shared parenting to co-parenting.

Through it all, I’ve been a relentless advocate of ditching outdated court-based language that diminishes the value of family.  Terms like “visit,” “visitation,” and “child custody,” in my opinion, are some of the worst offenders.  And yet, they still get used all the time. Not just by lawyers and judges but also by co-parents and the professionals who are trying to help them.

TWO SIGNIFICANT WAYS A VISITATION MINDSET UNDERMINES CO-PARENTING AND A CHILD’S SENSE OF BELONGING.

In addition to not being “family-friendly” terms, here are a couple of other unhealthy dynamics a “visitation” mindset contributes to:

It divides instead of unifies.

When words like “visit,” “visitation,” and “custody” get thrown into the mix, co-parents stop being viewed as equals. One co-parent gets to become the “real” parent who provides a “primary” home for children, while the other parent becomes a “visitor” and gets to take a backseat in kids’ lives.

Those words, however harmless they might seem, also imply some pretty detrimental concepts. Like “better” co-parent vs. “not as good” co-parent, “important” vs. “not as important,” or worse yet, “winner” vs. “loser.”

Not surprisingly, parents placed in the “visitor” role often feel diminished and removed from their children’s lives. Most “visitor” co-parents feel discouraged, frustrated, and discounted.  To level the playing field, co-parents who feel like “visitors” may focus more on being the “fun” co-parent who doesn’t implement rules, structure, or consequences.  Instead, they make the most of their “visiting” time.

When this happens, the tension between households ramps up pretty fast because the other co-parent gets saddled with always being the heavy. “Primary” co-parents, by default, become the ones who have to manage the bulk of child-rearing activities like enforcing rules, doing homework, setting consequences, and tracking day-to-day life for kids. “Primary” co-parents often feel overwhelmed, resentful and devalued.

As a result, frustration with one another ratchets up on both sides, and co-parents end up feeling divided rather than unified.

It undermines a child’s sense of trust and belonging

As mentioned before, when children feel like “visitors” in a co-parent’s life, time with that co-parent becomes incredibly precious. Kids may view their relationship with the “visitor” co-parent as fragile and fleeting.  For this reason, they may be very reluctant to rock the boat and become a “perfectly” behaved kid in that household.

In short, children don’t feel secure or have a sense of trust when a “visitation” mindset is in play. This understandably creates a real problem for the “primary” co-parent, who, along with all the responsibility, may also get hit with all of the acting out.

As you can imagine (and may know all too well) more resentment and frustration between co-parents is not far behind. Let’s say little Sammy’s behavior is off the charts when he is with Mom, and she’s super concerned. However, when Sammy is at Dad’s house, he’s a perfect angel.  When Mom tells Dad about the behavior issues, Dad thinks she’s making it all up.  He replies with, “There’s nothing wrong with Sammy. He’s just fine at my house. Maybe you just don’t know how to handle him.”

Perhaps you can relate?

However, it can also work in the other direction too. Just like the Mom I was coaching, when a parent goes along with a “visitor” mentality, kids can easily feel like outsiders looking in on a parent’s life. When this happens, children may start to detach or become more distant. From their point of view, “Why bother, I’m not really a part of this family anyway.”

Often when a parent remarries or re-partners, these feelings can quickly escalate, especially if there are other children who live in the household full-time.  If you have a co-parent who is fueling the flames, it may not take much for them to exploit those feelings and influence kids to reject you.

So what can you do to turn things around?

4 SIMPLE STRATEGIES FOR CO-PARENTS TO HELP MINIMIZE THE EFFECTS OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN.

Change the way you talk.

Regardless of how much time you have with your kids, do yourself (and them) a favor by taking that five-letter word out of your vocabulary.

Instead, talk about “time with Mom” and “time with Dad.” Versus referring to a “visitation” schedule, implement a “co-parenting” schedule. You can also use phrases like “your home with Mom” or “your home with Dad.” ” Your home with Mom or Mama.” “Your home with Daddy or Papa.”

While it’s a subtle shift, it’s an important one to make.

Establish a two-home concept.

No matter how much time your kids spend under your roof, reassure your children that your home will always be a place they belong. Kids need to hear loud and clear that while their parent’s feelings for each other have changed, the love that’s shared between coparents and children is forever.

However, telling kids they belong isn’t enough, you also need to back up your words with action.

Do your best to help children feel connected and valued in each home. If you can’t provide bedrooms in each household, make sure kids have an allocated space that is theirs (i.e., special area/furniture where they can keep their stuff) and sets of everyday items in both homes (i.e., pajamas, clothes, toiletries, toys, school supplies, etc.)

Continue to act like a family.

Being a family involves more than just having a good time and doing fun stuff. When your children are with you, spend time doing homework, cook dinner together, have them help out around the house, sit and read a book, take them to special events like a friend’s birthday party or after-school activities.

Along with that, be sure you do your best to provide children with structure and discipline. Kids who are able to do whatever they want, whenever they want, without consequence, have a much harder time growing into happy, secure, and successful people.

If you have a co-parent who isn’t willing to support a two-home concept, do what you can to strengthen connection and a sense of belonging when your children are with you.

You can also engage with your kids outside of the home by doing things like going to school to have lunch with them or showing up to after-school events like soccer games, school plays, or awards ceremonies.

For co-parents who have the role of “primary” co-parent, doing what you can to support a two-home concept on your end benefits you too.

If you have a co-parent who isn’t stepping up, take a shot at engaging with them differently. Start by talking about “co-parenting time” instead of “visitation.” Invite the other co-parent to be involved in school activities or other kid-related events.  Ask them to help with homework assignments and special projects. If your co-parent feels valued and acknowledged, they just might surprise you.

Maintain your connection when kids aren’t with you.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard parents complain about how their children don’t ever call or text them.  Guess what?  It’s not their job, it’s yours.

Children need to be reassured that they matter to us and that divorce hasn’t changed that. One way to reinforce how important your kids are to you is by initiating that contact on a consistent and regular basis when they’re not with you.

Keep in mind every text you send or call you make isn’t going to lead to a meaningful conversation. The goal is to let them know you’re thinking of them.

Not only will consistent contact help your children feel more secure, but recent research also shows that kids who are able to maintain a close and connected relationship with each of their parents post-divorce are more well-adjusted than children who don’t.  Believe it or not, sending texts, picking up the phone to call, or video chat makes a big difference.

Bottom line, words have power. Don’t fall into the trap of letting outdated court-based language dictate what kind of relationship you have with your children.

When parents split up, families don’t end, they change, and it’s incredibly valuable for your kids to hear that.

How do you feel about the word visit?  Got something to share? Please chime in below, I’d love to hear from you.

Watch the the new Split Movie trailer here: Split Up: The Teen Years


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A Rise in Pre-Nuptial Agreements Due to People Remarrying

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Kate Booth
Kate Booth
Solicitor, Head of Family & Matrimonial
Brindley, Twist, Tafft & James Solicitors (BTTJ)

More people planning their second, third or fourth wedding are entering into pre-nuptial agreements with their future spouse.

Step-families or blended families are one of the fastest-growing types of families in the UK making up about a third of all UK households.

Older people who have previously had a bad experience and are looking to re-marry are among those most commonly seeking a pre-nup and over recent years the importance of pre-nuptial agreements has grown.

Historically they were not binding, but now they will hold sway in court when it can be shown that the agreement is fair to both parties. Both need to have had ample opportunity to seek independent legal advice, the agreement needs to be signed by both parties well in advance of the marriage and both parties must have given full disclosure about their personal finances before the marriage took place.

With all these things together the court will recognise that the pre-nuptial agreement was entered into together and in that case, it can be binding.  

Where it can get complicated is when circumstances change – for example if children come along. In cases such as these, it is all about reviewing and updating any initial agreement, so it remains relevant to the present-day family situation.

More than just factoring in financial situations pre-nuptial agreements offer the opportunity to look at the whole picture, taking all assets into account, ranging from family businesses to pets.

There may be someone with his or her own business or they may have a part of their family business. In this instance, pre-nups are a useful tool to prevent a former spouse from staking a claim.

Read more articles by Brindley, Twist, Tafft & James Solicitors (BTTJ).

About Kate

Kate deals with private family law cases including divorce and related financial matters, children, injunction and cohabitation issues. She also advises clients in connection with pre-nuptial and cohabitation agreements.

For the full range of legal services available from Brindley Twist Tafft and James log on to www.bttj.com


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wife says her husband does the do for too long. #relationship #divorce #marriage #ytshorts #ring

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wife says her husband does the do for too long. #relationship #divorce #marriage #ytshorts #ring

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