Even with divorce, there are always times that you may have to interact with your ex-spouse. Especially if you have children, the way that you and your ex interact can greatly impact your own mental and emotional health, along with that of your children. Hiring a divorce coach who understands this delicate situation can help you focus on the best interests of your family and position you to have the best and most stable family.

The truth is, if you didn’t have conflict in your marriage, you would likely still be married. And the conflict you did have will follow you into your post-marriage relationship unless you find a way to interact with your ex civilly. The way that you co-parent and work together with your ex can make or break the stability of your life.

Ways to Help Interact with an Ex After Divorce

If your ex is abusive, harassing or otherwise threatening, it’s important to get the proper channels involved to secure safety for you and your children, if you have any. Beyond that, there are a few ways^[1] to go about interacting with your ex during and after divorce, including:

• Try your best to show respect
  Essentially, even if your ex goes low, with cutting comments or dating sooner than you are comfortable with, try to let them have their space and live their lives without inserting yourself into the drama. By doing this, you are commanding respect in return and are also setting a good example for any children in the situation. Once divorced, you may not always agree with the life choices of an ex, but you have chosen to move on through a divorce. This means that you must be able to let go of past emotions and focus on your future.
• Align to any legal instruction
  If you have a divorce decree or a family plan that is instructed from a family court, it’s best to follow it. Even if you are not happy with the agreement, it’s best for you and your ex (plus any children) to both adhere to the court orders because that keeps every party in line and separated from needing to discuss topics of discussion where there are potentially conflicting opinions. Also, if you are able to abide by court decrees fully, if your ex were to step out of bounds in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you will have more credibility.
• Focus on the best interest of yourself (and your kids)
  Whether you have children or not, what does engaging in fighting with an ex accomplish? The answer is nothing. Disagreeing, arguing, and conflict got you nowhere in marriage and that will not change when a divorce is final. Instead, focus on what is in the best interest for your life after divorce and that of any children also in the scenario.
• Hire a divorce coach to help you
  Therapists are typically focused on helping to clinically diagnose any type of issue or disorder. But divorce coaches know the ins and outs of engaging with an ex in a way that a therapist may not. Divorce coaches are a listening ear and know how post-divorce relationship conflict can differ from current relationship conflict. They provide the specific emotional support a divorcee needs in order to manage and process the emotions that coincide with conflicts with an ex.

Connect With a Divorce Coach For Help With an Ex

When you hire a divorce coach, they provide a place to vent safely. Many times, divorcees allow negative energy and animosity to build up and come bursting out toward an ex. A divorce coach can listen to your post-divorce issues and help you take steps toward emotional freedom rather than lashing out at an ex (or, worse, a parent to your children).

Divorce coaches help you maintain the proper focus and make common sense, healthy choices, one interaction at a time. Creating these good habits will, over time, lead to an easier co-parenting or post-divorce relationship. You want to be the adult in the room, showing that you can be mature and civil. Doing this makes it more likely that you will receive respect in return from your ex.

Lindsey Sharp, founder of There’s Life After Divorce coaching, can help you manage your relationship with your ex and create the most positive and protected environment for yourself and your children. Get the support they need to thrive during and after a divorce. Your relationship with your ex – good or bad – can be faced and handled with confidence and grace. It will greatly impact the quality of a future life, and you deserve to have the best support and healthy advice to navigate those relationships.

^[1] 5 Tips to Help Deal With Post-Divorce Conflict With Your Ex – accessed at https://divorcedmoms.com/post-divorce-conflict-with-your-ex

Going through a divorce adds a heap of stress to your life. Some of that stress is financial, some is physical, some is mental. Preparing paperwork, gathering assets, moving your family, making choices for yourself and your children, if you have any, can take a toll on anyone’s mind. And many times, focusing on these aspects can have divorcees forget one important thing – themselves.

Emotional stress, although seemingly invisible, can rear its head in some tangible and physically visible ways. Some signs^[1] that you may be suffering from emotional stress are:

• Sleep problems – sleeping too much or too little can be a sign that your brain is having issues processing your emotions and that your emotions are overcoming you.
• Weight fluctuations – Emotional stress can lead to impulsive eating or feeling too overwhelmed to have an appetite, both leading to unhealthy outcomes.
• Temper – When you have too many emotions that you are processing, your fuse can tend to be shorter, leading to unexpected outbursts toward friends and family.
• Unexplained physical pains – Believe it or not, emotional stress can also present in physical ways if the emotions become too powerful. Things like unexplained headaches, upset stomachs, and constipation can all be a sign of severe emotional distress.
• Obsessive or compulsive behaviors – Feeling paranoid or like bad things will happen at any moment can be a sign of emotional distress and anxiety stemming from divorce.
• Fatigue – Point blank – emotions are exhausting. Having a lot of negative energy and emotions pent up can exhaust your energy levels and cause constant fatigue.
• Memory problems – When you spend a majority of your mental bandwidth and energy on the divorce and the implication of it, that leaves little mental capacity for remembering regular appointments, names, and responsibilities.
• Avoiding social situations – When you have excess emotional stress, it may exhaust you and keep you from interacting with others. This isolation only makes the anxiety and emotional issues worse.

How to Help Emotional Stress During Divorce

There are some ways^[2] to manage your emotional stress during divorce. Some of these tactics are self-service and some require additional help. Some ways to manage emotionally through divorce are:

• Exercising
  Even just 30 minutes per day of moving your body can lead to increased endorphins and a sense of well-being and clarity. It can also help manage some of the physical symptoms of emotional stress.

• Practicing Mindfulness
  Divorce can lead to chaos in the brain, trying to manage too many emotions at once. Finding even ten minutes per day to find peace and allow your emotions to run their course is important. While you focus on aspects of your life that you are grateful for, you forget the negative aspects and that can make a positive difference.
• Distracting Yourself
  Whether it be a hobby, group activity, or increased social interaction, sometimes your brain and emotional system need a break from the drama and stress and time to focus on things in your life that you enjoy. Just because you’re experiencing divorce does not mean there is nowhere to find happiness.
• Talk to a divorce coach
  A therapist may be able to assess you clinically, but they cannot offer the same experience as a divorce coach. A divorce coach knows the unique aspects of divorce and how they can affect your emotional state in a way that other professionals cannot.

Get a Divorce Coach for Help Now During Your Situation

All the various aspects of divorce can be overwhelming, leading to emotional stress. And even beyond divorce, you have a life. You have a job, friends, responsibilities, and possibly children to protect emotionally through the process. Protecting your energy and managing emotional stress during this time can make or break the outcome of a divorce. A divorce coach can help you find balance and provide an outlet for stress.

Sharp Divorce Coaching is here to help you face divorce with kindness and have the happiest life possible in the aftermath. Founder, Lindsey Sharp, has years of experience as a family attorney and has seen the many ways divorce can emotionally affect families for years to come. Her goal is to give clients the tools and support they need to get through a divorce with as little damage as possible and to thrive moving forward. There is life after divorce, if you can walk through the storm with confidence and make healthy choices.

^[1] 10 Signs You Have Emotional Stress (and How to Deal with It) – accessed at lifeadvancer.com

^[2] 4 Tips for Handling the Emotional Stress of Divorce – RIGHT Lawyers RIGHT Lawyers