Even with divorce, there are always times that you may have to interact with your ex-spouse. Especially if you have children, the way that you and your ex interact can greatly impact your own mental and emotional health, along with that of your children. Hiring a divorce coach who understands this delicate situation can help you focus on the best interests of your family and position you to have the best and most stable family.
The truth is, if you didn’t have conflict in your marriage, you would likely still be married. And the conflict you did have will follow you into your post-marriage relationship unless you find a way to interact with your ex civilly. The way that you co-parent and work together with your ex can make or break the stability of your life.
Ways to Help Interact with an Ex After Divorce
If your ex is abusive, harassing or otherwise threatening, it’s important to get the proper channels involved to secure safety for you and your children, if you have any. Beyond that, there are a few ways[1] to go about interacting with your ex during and after divorce, including:
- Try your best to show respect
Essentially, even if your ex goes low, with cutting comments or dating sooner than you are comfortable with, try to let them have their space and live their lives without inserting yourself into the drama. By doing this, you are commanding respect in return and are also setting a good example for any children in the situation. Once divorced, you may not always agree with the life choices of an ex, but you have chosen to move on through a divorce. This means that you must be able to let go of past emotions and focus on your future. - Align to any legal instruction
If you have a divorce decree or a family plan that is instructed from a family court, it’s best to follow it. Even if you are not happy with the agreement, it’s best for you and your ex (plus any children) to both adhere to the court orders because that keeps every party in line and separated from needing to discuss topics of discussion where there are potentially conflicting opinions. Also, if you are able to abide by court decrees fully, if your ex were to step out of bounds in a way that makes you uncomfortable, you will have more credibility. - Focus on the best interest of yourself (and your kids)
Whether you have children or not, what does engaging in fighting with an ex accomplish? The answer is nothing. Disagreeing, arguing, and conflict got you nowhere in marriage and that will not change when a divorce is final. Instead, focus on what is in the best interest for your life after divorce and that of any children also in the scenario. - Hire a divorce coach to help you
Therapists are typically focused on helping to clinically diagnose any type of issue or disorder. But divorce coaches know the ins and outs of engaging with an ex in a way that a therapist may not. Divorce coaches are a listening ear and know how post-divorce relationship conflict can differ from current relationship conflict. They provide the specific emotional support a divorcee needs in order to manage and process the emotions that coincide with conflicts with an ex.
Connect With a Divorce Coach For Help With an Ex
When you hire a divorce coach, they provide a place to vent safely. Many times, divorcees allow negative energy and animosity to build up and come bursting out toward an ex. A divorce coach can listen to your post-divorce issues and help you take steps toward emotional freedom rather than lashing out at an ex (or, worse, a parent to your children).
Divorce coaches help you maintain the proper focus and make common sense, healthy choices, one interaction at a time. Creating these good habits will, over time, lead to an easier co-parenting or post-divorce relationship. You want to be the adult in the room, showing that you can be mature and civil. Doing this makes it more likely that you will receive respect in return from your ex.
Lindsey Sharp, founder of There’s Life After Divorce coaching, can help you manage your relationship with your ex and create the most positive and protected environment for yourself and your children. Get the support they need to thrive during and after a divorce. Your relationship with your ex – good or bad – can be faced and handled with confidence and grace. It will greatly impact the quality of a future life, and you deserve to have the best support and healthy advice to navigate those relationships.
[1] 5 Tips to Help Deal With Post-Divorce Conflict With Your Ex – accessed at https://divorcedmoms.com/post-divorce-conflict-with-your-ex
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