By Womans Divorce Editorial Team 

For many women who have just gone through a divorce, it can be difficult to plan for the future ahead. Though your goals might currently feel a bit far off, they are more than attainable with the proper planning in place. 

As you begin to face your future head-on, you might be considering the possibility of owning a house all on your own. While there is a lot that goes into the home buying process, making the dream of having your own home a reality might be easier than you’d think by using the steps below as your guide.

Establish Monetary and Home-buying Goals 

While diving in headfirst by browsing the current houses on the market is a tempting way to begin your journey, it’s probably not the best plan of action to start out. The home buying process is filled with uncertainty, which is why it’s crucial to have the right goals set in place for yourself. 

First, identify a REALTOR® who has your best interest in mind. Choose someone you feel comfortable voicing your concerns to, preferably an agent that also has experience working with women who have gone through divorce. 

Once you have the right agent locked down, take some time to discuss your goals with them. If you know one of your goals is to be in your new home within a specific time frame, be sure to field your agent’s advice on whether or not your time-frame is attainable given the current market. Be realistic and don’t be too hard on yourself if things take longer than expected. Remember that the right house is worth waiting for.   

Beyond having a clear timeline, you should also set a monetary goal to have enough money saved to cover the down payment and expected closing costs. Such monetary goals can also be discussed with your agent as they will be able to run the numbers and find the right homes for you that meet your budget. From there, you can create a budgeting template to outline how to cut expenses to build your home-buying nest egg.

Check your credit

Very few individuals go through a divorce with zero impact on their credit score. If your credit has taken a hit due to your divorce, don’t get discouraged. Whether you work with a financial advisor or simply develop a plan on your own to get your score up, improving lower credit after a divorce is achievable. 

Set aside some money in the coming months to pay off your credit card bill little by little. Don’t have extra money to spare to clean up your credit? There are still some loan options available for individuals who may have a lower credit score to achieve home-ownership. Review the loan options below to assess which one works best for your current situation. 

Research Loan Options

Many single women shy away from their desire to own their own home because they are nervous about affordability. If you fall into this category, it might be because you haven’t truly taken the time to research your loan options in full. Here is a brief list of some affordable options available to you to make your homeownership dreams come true: 

FHA Loan: FHA loans are a great option for women who may not have the best credit score coming out of a divorce. Should you have a score of at least 580, the minimum down payment requirement is just 3.5%. If you currently have a credit score between 500 and 579, the down payment is 10%. Many solo first-time home buyers find FHA loans to be a great option to start out. For more information on FHA loan rates, limits, and requirements, consider this FHA loan resource. 

USDA Loan: The United States Department of Agriculture offers a loan option with zero down payment, as long as the home you’re interested in meets their location requirements. In order to qualify for a USDA loan, the home you put in an offer on must be located in an area that is classified as “rural”. To clarify, this does not mean that you can only look at houses in the middle of nowhere. To find out more on what is considered a rural area, use this article on current USDA rates and requirements. 

First-time home buyer program: Though this is not specifically a loan option, most areas offer a first-time home buyer program that offers assistance when it comes to your homeownership goals. Be sure to inquire about these options and ask your friends and family if they used a program like this when they first purchased their home. 

While your funding options are surely not limited to the choices listed above, don’t rule out FHA loans, USDA loans, or a first-time buyer program. Do the research to determine which loan aligns best with the goals you have created to set yourself up for success. 

Don’t Rush Buying a House After Divorce

Lastly, don’t rush things. Coming out on the other end of a divorce can leave many women feeling fragile and alone. Be sure to take the time to get your mental health where it needs to be before adding on the stressors of buying a house after divorce. 

Remember, you are strong enough to reach your goals if you set a realistic timeline and budget for yourself. Plenty of single women have become homeowners on their own, and you are no exception. 

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   Buying a House after Divorce
   

By Tracy Achen 

Have you been considering reinventing your style to help boost your confidence? It’s no secret that divorce can have a bruising effect on a woman’s self-esteem. But as you begin to heal, you’ll start to realize that you are in control of your life and get to choose how it turns out. If you’re looking to rediscover yourself in this new phase of your life, a good place to start is with your wardrobe. 

Whether you already have an established sense of style you love or you’re hoping to change your look to something more in tune with who you are now, there’s plenty to consider in this new chapter of your life. You may also be thinking about the possibility of changing careers, going back to school, or maybe even dating again. These are all great incentives for revamping your wardrobe. If you’re ready to update your look to reflect the new you, the following tips will make your journey easier.

Purge and Organize Your Closet

You may still have things from your marriage that remind you of your ex, and your clothes are often no exception. If there is a certain top that reminds you of a time you’d rather forget, toss it! Don’t be afraid to purge your wardrobe of any and all items that are tied to feelings of negativity, and try to focus on the pieces that bring you joy instead. 

When it comes to cleaning out your closet, a great place to start is by asking yourself these three simple questions: 

Do you love it? – First ask yourself if you truly love the piece of clothing. Does it make you feel like a million bucks when you wear it? If so, it’s probably a keeper. If it is something you’ve never worn or don’t intend to again, it can go in the donate pile. If you’re on the fence, that’s okay. But do follow up your thoughts with the next two questions below.

Does it fit? – Many times our closets are stuffed with clothes we hope we’ll fit into when we get to our ideal weight or get in shape. But realistically, holding on to these items can hurt your self-esteem by preventing you from loving your body as it is now. Besides, you’ll probably want to invest in new clothes when you reach your ideal size. So if it’s too tight or too loose, it’s time to let it go! 

When did you wear it last? – Even if the item of clothing was one of your favorites, can you imagine yourself ever wearing it again? If not, it’s taking up valuable real estate in your closet and needs to go. A good rule of thumb is to donate clothing items you haven’t worn for six months to a year. 

Using the above questions, separate all your clothes into three different piles: 

• Keep – these are the clothes that look good on you and you love. These will go back in your closet. 
• Get Rid Of – These items can be donated if they are still in good shape. Anything that’s faded, has holes, or is way out of date needs to be tossed. 
• Undecided – When you’re in the process of reinventing your style, there may be some clothes you’re unsure about. And that’s okay. These items can be folded and put away temporarily. But if you haven’t retrieved something within a year, it can also be donated because you’ll probably never wear it. 

The final step in purging your closet is reorganizing it. You’ll want to organize your clothes according to a system that works for you. Some people organize their clothes by colors, while others group items by season or activity. Organizing your clothes will let you take stock of what you have left and what items you might need to round out your wardrobe.

Don’t Forget Your Undergarments and Shoes

Now is the perfect time to go through your undergarments as well. Those ratty old undies and stretched out bras need to go! And don’t keep socks that fall down or anything that is uncomfortable or scratches your body. You only want to hold on to things that fit well and make you feel wonderful.

After you’ve gone through your underwear, you may need to replace some items. A general rule of thumb is you only need enough undies to last between wash days. As for bras, it’s a good idea to have at least one nude and one black bra. And a sports bra is also a good idea for when you are exercising or really active. 

Sensible, everyday undergarments are essential pieces to any wardrobe, and buying new stylish yet supportive underwear can make you feel wonderful and refreshed. After all, the right undergarments provide the foundation for your clothing. And when your undergarments are comfortable, you’ll exude more confidence wearing your updated wardrobe. 

You also need to purge and organize your footwear. If your feet ache after only a few hours of wearing them, they need to go (no matter how cute they are). After all, it’s hard to radiate confidence when you’re in pain! Shoes also need to be tossed if they are falling apart at the seams. You only want to keep footwear that is in good condition, comfortable, and will work with your new style. 

Finding Your Personal Style 

Take a look at the current color scheme and patterns in your closet. Do they truly represent who you are? If you’re finding that your style was shaped by your previous partner, and not by your true self, it’s time to revamp your wardrobe. Moving forward, don’t waste your time or money on clothes that don’t make you feel comfortable in your own skin. 

Maybe you’re hoping to try a whole new style altogether, and if this is the case, good for you! Identify your favorite colors and patterns, and look to choose your clothes accordingly. Get inspired by looking through fashion magazines or building a Pinterest board of styles that inspire you. If you need some help, here are some more tips on how to find your personal style. However you mix things up, be bold about who you are through your sense of style. 

You Don’t Have to Be Rich to Be Stylish

Your finances might not be in tip top shape in the wake of your divorce, so you probably don’t have a lot of money in your budget for clothing right now. But that doesn’t mean you have to do without. Thrifting is an affordable way to invest in quality pieces for your wardrobe. 

Thanks to the time you took purging your closet, you probably have quite a few pieces of clothing you can donate or put on consignment. While you’re at the consignment or thrift store, take some time to go through their racks to see what might work for your revamped wardrobe. If you need a little inspiration, here is a resource on how to find style trends at your local thrift store. 

While thrifting new styles might not be your first choice for clothes shopping, it can be a good option for finding quality pieces at a good price. Just be sure to try on the clothes you’re interested in to make sure they fit well and you feel great in them. Only buy what you’ll love and wear. In many cases, all it takes is one good find to help you get a taste for how fun consignment shopping can be!

Divorce gives you the opportunity for a fresh start. And reinventing your style can help you embrace this new chapter in your life. It may feel a little awkward at first, but that’s to be expected with any change you undertake. Just focus on what gives you confidence and joy and you’re sure to put the right foot forward each and every day!

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Just what is an uncontested divorce and is it an option in your situation? If you and your spouse can agree on all the issues involved in ending your marriage, then this type of divorce is definitely worth considering. The following article highlights the benefits of getting an uncontested divorce as a way to reduce the conflict and avoid having a judge decide the terms of your divorce. 

How Uncontested Divorce can Save You Time, Money, and Hardship

By Tracy Rotharmel Shanks, Divorce Attorney 

 1. Time – Uncontested Divorce generally takes much less time to complete. 

An uncontested divorce will generally take much less time to complete than a contested divorce.  When a divorce is contested, the spouses usually have to work through their attorneys and the court to reach a final outcome. When couples fight over issues such as community property, child support, custody and spousal support, it can take years and multiple court appearances to reach a ruling. Many times that ruling can be appealed, which can extend the duration and cost even further.  

Uncontested divorces can be completed quickly and efficiently because the couple is in agreement on the issues, there is no back-and-forth between attorneys, and there are no court hearings. In some cases, an uncontested divorce can be completed in a matter of weeks. 

2. Cost – Uncontested Divorce can save you thousands in attorney’s fees.  

For every divorce there are two major cost factors – court costs and attorney’s fees. Court costs are settled costs by the court that can usually be found on the court’s websites. Attorney’s fees are fees charged by the attorney. The attorney’s fees can either be a fixed-cost or an hourly rate. The more time an attorney spends on your case, the more costly your attorney’s fees will be for your divorce.  

An uncontested divorce is much less expensive than a contested case.  In an uncontested divorce, both parties are in agreement regarding the divorce and any ancillary matters such as spousal support, child support and custody. By reaching an agreement prior to retaining an attorney, the spouses can save a dramatic amount on attorney’s fees. The agreement prevents the back-and-forth demands for information between attorneys and multiple court appearances. In many jurisdictions, attorneys charge a low-cost fixed amount for an uncontested divorce. Common attorney fees for an uncontested divorce are $500.00. For contested cases, most attorneys charge an hourly fee with a retainer for thousands of dollars.  

Also, some jurisdictions charge lower filing fees for an uncontested divorce, which can further lower the cost associated with getting a divorce.

3. Cooperation – Uncontested Divorce avoids much of the emotional turmoil associated with divorce.   

Marital separation is already an emotionally tumultuous situation. The legal process of divorce can cause further turmoil. In a contested divorce the spouses battle over their property, children, and ongoing financial support. As mentioned, a contested divorce can take years, resulting in extended periods of distress.  

An uncontested divorce provides spouses the opportunity to divorce without destroying all remnants of their relationship with each other. This can be especially important when there are children involved. Instead of waging a legal battle over every aspect of the divorce, the spouses can work together to decide an equitable means of addressing property, custody and support. This spirit of cooperation can be very helpful in maintaining a cordial relationship with your spouse as you work within the agreement of the uncontested divorce. 

Getting an Uncontested Divorce

In many jurisdictions, an uncontested divorce can be filed without an attorney. To obtain an uncontested divorce without an attorney you would want to contact the court where you would file your divorce and ask for the self help desk. Generally, this department can provide you with the correct paperwork to file. However, most courts will not provide you with legal advice.  

It is always advisable to consult with an attorney and have the attorney file the divorce on your behalf. An attorney can tell you if the terms you have agreed upon are equitable and properly protect your rights. Also, most family law attorneys offer low-cost uncontested divorce packages.

While an uncontested divorce may not always work for you and your spouse, approaching the divorce with a degree of cooperation can save you money, time, and hardship.

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TECHNOLOGY DO’S AND DON’TS WHEN UNCOUPLING – PART I

By Yueh-Mei Kim Nutter and Kyle Morgan 

People’s dependence on technology is seen on smartphones, social media, cloud-based storage, transportation, parking, online shopping, streaming videos/music, food delivery, online dating and even online telemedicine. Technology controls almost every aspect of life. 

As such, electronic data from these online services can become a key factor in family law cases. Electronic data can be “discovered” in court and possibly be used against you. Therefore, if you find yourself involved in a family law related dispute, consider carefully the list of Electronic Do’s and Don’ts below. 

Reviewing Apps and Changing Passwords 

The first thing that a party to a divorce should do is immediately change his or her passwords for everything. Even just one password left unchanged could give your spouse access to your entire life. For example, as many online services operate under the “family plan” concept, your spouse could have access to your Apple ID account which would in turn give him or her access to your location, text messages, calendar, email, banking and credit cards, social media, and photos. 

Spouses should remove themselves from any shared cloud-based storage plans such as iCloud and Google Cloud, as this information should not be shared during a pending litigation. Spouses should also back up important information contained in these cloud-based storage platforms.

Deleting important documents or information from the cloud won’t keep them from being discovered in court. Someone can always find and retrieve them. Further, the spoliation of electronic records (i.e. deleting, altering, or destroying electronically stored information) is a serious criminal offense.   

It is important to review every app or online service used on a phone, tablet, or computer and change your passwords. You would be surprised how many services you use on a daily basis require a username and password. A spouse could access your Uber account for example and find exactly where you have been going. Further, it is important to make sure your new passwords are strong, by making them long and including a mix of character, numbers and letters. Plus they should not be passwords that could be easily guessed by your spouse. And don’t make the mistake of using the same password for all accounts and services! 

Divorce and Social Media

Social media has become the most common way we communicate with our friends and family. However, before you post a photo on any social media account, it is important to stop and think how it could affect your pending divorce case. The last thing that you want is to have one picture or post ruin your case. After you change all the passwords to your social media accounts, the second thing you should do is change your account privacy settings to the highest possible level. Talk to your friends to respect your need for privacy and to not post photos of you, to not forward any posts or tag you in photos.

It’s important to note that even if you blocked someone or limited someone’s access to your account through privacy settings, your account may be accessed in other ways.  For example, your soon-to-be ex might gain access by signing on as your child. Therefore, it is imperative to limit all communications and activity on your social media accounts, and especially not discuss an ongoing case on any social media platform. Do not bad mouth your spouse on social media, do not post anything about a judge you may not care for, do not post pictures including your minor children on dating websites and do not post pictures of a new romantic partner until the case is officially over.

Lastly, if you do look at your spouse’s social media sites, you should print off or make copies of anything important as social media sites make frequent changes. Some social media sites have a feature that allows users to download all account activity, from account opening to the final status update, to a zip file. Part II of this article will be posted shortly.   

Conclusion

• Change all passwords immediately. 
• Update privacy settings on all social media accounts. 
• DO NOT discuss or post about your divorce on social media 
• Print and save anything you find of use on your spouse’s social media account 
• Think twice before sending, posting, and deleting. 

Yueh-Mei Kim Nutter is Partner in Brinkley Morgan’s Boca Raton, Fort Lauderdale and West Palm Beach offices. She is a Florida Bar board certified specialist in Marital and Family Law, concentrating her practice in the areas of family law, guardianships, and probate and estate litigation.   

Kyle Morgan is an attorney in Brinkley Morgan’s Fort Lauderdale office. He focuses his practice in the areas of marital and family law, corporate law and business development. 

Find out more about Brinkley Morgan, Attorneys at Law.

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by Yueh-Mei Kim Nutter and Kyle Morgan 

Part I of this article discussed the Electronic Do’s and Don’ts regarding online passwords and social media during divorce. As stated in Part I, data from these online platforms can be “discovered” in court and possibly be used against you. Therefore, if you find yourself involved in a family law related dispute, consider carefully the list of Do’s and Don’ts for Technology and Divorce in Part II below.

Cell Phones and Text Messages

Any text message can be saved without your knowledge. Cellular carriers are now capturing the contents of text message and storing them in the cloud, making them recoverable through subpoenas. Even mobile forensics may be able to recover deleted text messages that can be obtained in court through subpoenas. 

Therefore, during a family law case, it is important to never send a text message you would not want to a judge to read aloud in open court. Also, save and print all text messages that may be of value to use against your spouse in a pending case. Never rely on your phone or the cloud to automatically keep them. Further, if you and your spouse are on the same phone plan, it is time to separate the accounts. This will protect the cross-sharing of phone records by separating billing.

Don’t forget that all cell phones now have location services that track your every moment. Most spouses also share locations through apps such as Find My Friends. It is important to make sure location services are disabled on your cell phone, iPad and other devices and to stop sharing your location with your spouse. Enable your GPS location to use for directions and then disable your location upon the arrival at your destination. Check your children’s cell phones for location services as well. 

Your Children’s Accounts and Devices

Children’s online accounts and devices present a potential tricky challenge to parents during a divorce. A child’s cell phone it is likely tied to a parent’s already existing mobile network account. This means that a spouse can access that network through the child’s cell phone. Parents should communicate with each other and address who owns the account and what that means for the parent that does not. 

Parents should also consider parental controls on a child’s device. Parents should communicate with each other and address who controls the parental controls on the child’s devices. Parents need to be on the same page with what websites and apps the child is permitted to use.

It is important for both parents to have all usernames and passwords for all of their children’s devices and accounts. That way, parents are constantly on the same page when it comes to what their child is consuming on the internet, who they are friends with on social media, and what they are posting online. Lastly, regarding their children’s social media, both parents should be friends with their children on Facebook and should follow their children on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, etc. 

Copy Electronic Records

Once a family law case has been filed or is about to get filed, you may not have access to the same electronic records you did before the dispute started. Your spouse may have already changed passwords to online bank accounts, insurance policies, and business accounts. Therefore, it is important to make a list of all relevant online accounts you have access to and gather as much information you can.

It is recommended that you find a safe storage space such as an external hard drive or a cloud based storage service such as DropBox, and download and save all text messages, emails, photographs, business records, insurance policies, banking records and other important documents you have access to. 

Conclusion

• Backup and save all important documents, records, photos, videos, etc. 
• DO NOT delete documents, records, or accounts you think may hurt your case. 
• Print and save all text messages that may be of value to use against your spouse in a pending case. 
• DO NOT send a text message you would not want to a judge to read aloud in open court. 
• Communicate with your spouse about your child’s online accounts and parental control settings.
   
• Think twice before sending, posting, and deleting. 

Yueh-Mei Kim Nutter is Partner in Brinkley Morgan’s Boca Raton, Fort Lauderdale and West Palm Beach offices. She is a Florida Bar board certified specialist in Marital and Family Law, concentrating her practice in the areas of family law, guardianships, and probate and estate litigation.   

Kyle Morgan is an attorney in Brinkley Morgan’s Fort Lauderdale office. He focuses his practice in the areas of marital and family law, corporate law and business development. 

Find out more about Brinkley Morgan, Attorneys at Law.

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