When I first became separated in 2008, I hired a lawyer. That was it. I interviewed two divorce lawyers and picked the one I thought was the best. My lawyer did a pretty good job, but had I known what I know today, and had there been the resources in divorce that exist now, I know undoubtedly that I’d have had a better outcome and a better post-divorce life—financially and as a co-parent. In this article, I want to talk about divorce in Maryland or divorce in any state, and the importance of hiring more than just a divorce attorney—hiring a divorce team.
What is a divorce team?
A divorce team can consist of any number of divorce professionals, depending on your needs pertaining to the divorce. A divorce team can consist of a:
1. Divorce attorney
2. Discernment counselor
3. Divorce mediator
4. Divorce coach
5. Financial advisor
6. Mortgage lender
7. Therapist—individual, child and/or family
If you are going through a divorce in Maryland, I want to share what three Maryland divorce professionals do, so that you can determine if any/all are a good fit for you and your divorce:
1. Divorce Coach, Cherie Morris, J.D., CDC
Cherie Morris works with people who are considering divorce, who are at the beginning of a divorce, or who are several months into a divorce. She can help you and your spouse or former spouse de-escalate conflict and re-frame issues so that you can thrive and not just survive as you contemplate, separate and possibly face post-divorce challenges.
Cherie helps you figure out how to manage what you need to do—gain an understanding of finances and coparenting and/or decide whether to keep or sell the marital home, for instance. Whether your divorce is amicable or high conflict, Cherie helps each of you decide how to make decisions for you and your children and begin to un-hook from your spouse or former partner.
This is not just the work of property negotiation and child custody, although she can talk about all of it and help you with a parenting plan, as needed. This work is about living your best and next chapter and staying stuck in your mindset about your marriage and spouse or former partner. Cherie always has a Discovery Zoom to hear from you and share her work too.
2. Divorce mediator, Parenting Coordinator, Disability Informed Professional, Erik M. Feig
Erik Feig is a former attorney who is now a divorce mediator, specializing in reducing conflict and fostering cooperation and understanding among parents and families. Erik helps them come together to create solutions to some of life’s most emotionally charged situations – whether it’s making decisions about their children, navigating family dynamics during or after divorce, or coming together to support aging or adult loved ones. Erik’s services often provide a sense of relief and peace of mind, helping parents know that they have support, too, in these challenging situations.
A key focus of Erik’s practice is working with parents of neurodiverse children and those with special needs. He helps parents make decisions about their children’s medical, educational, and everyday needs – particularly when they have different ideas and struggle to agree. From evaluations and therapies to managing family logistics, coordinating across two homes, or working as a team to ensure their child’s needs are met, Erik guides parents toward more constructive collaboration, prioritizing their child’s well-being while reducing the stress of these discussions.
Like almost all divorce mediators, Erik doesn’t take sides. Instead, his role is to empower both parents to communicate more constructively and work toward solutions that benefit the entire family. This gives families the confidence and control they need as they work through these difficult situations. By focusing on better communication and practical solutions, Erik aims to reduce stress, foster cooperation, and help the families he serves create paths that can work for everyone.
The differences and overlap between a divorce coach and mediator
Many divorce coaches, including Cherie offer help in co-parenting, and almost all divorce mediators aim to help parents co-parent, including Erik (who is also a co-parenting specialist). The difference is, if you are in a high conflict divorce situation, or your soon-to-be ex is difficult or almost impossible to communicate with, you could work with Cherie to learn strategies in coping and doing the best you can in co-parenting under the circumstances.
Cherie works as an advocate for most of her clients, whereas Erik is a third party neutral, who sits down with a couple—amicable or high conflict, to guide them through the decisions needed for them to create a parenting plan, divide assets, and create tailored solutions that become the blueprint for their divorce and for what comes afterwards. I do know that Erik also works with individuals who are also working with an advocate, as well. So, my recommendation would be to have consultations with both and see which one (if not both) suits your needs.
3. Financial Advisor, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), CFP (Certified Financial Planner), Amanda Campbell
When going through a divorce, a financial plan has never been more important. It’s important to consult with a financial advisor when considering divorce, when you become separated, throughout the divorce, and after divorce.
This is something I did not do and wish I would have. When I was getting divorced, I had no idea how much money we were spending and how much we were bringing in. I didn’t want to know because it was too stressful. Had I had the concrete numbers that a financial plan can deliver, I’d have made many many different decisions in the divorce than I did. For starters, I’d have gone back to work years before I actually did, and would have saved so much more money.
Amanda Campbell has dedicated her career to providing specialized financial guidance to women navigating the complexities of divorce. Her expertise lies in helping these women secure their financial future by meticulously analyzing and strategizing every aspect of their financial assets and liabilities.
With a deep understanding of the unique challenges faced by individuals during divorce, Amanda ensures her clients receive personalized solutions tailored to their specific needs. She excels in evaluating intricate financial portfolios, including investments, real estate, business interests, and retirement accounts, to create comprehensive financial plans that safeguard her clients’ wealth.
Amanda’s practice is rooted in empathy and empowerment, recognizing that divorce is not only a legal and financial process but an emotional journey. She provides a supportive environment where her clients can make informed decisions with confidence. Her goal is to demystify the financial intricacies of divorce, allowing her clients to focus on rebuilding their lives while knowing their financial interests are well-protected.
Your Maryland divorce team can also provide referrals
If you start working with Amanda or Cherie or Erik, they all have large, trustworthy referral networks, and as they get to know you, can guide you to other professionals that can help you, including a mortgage lender or therapist. You can also look at the Divorced Girl Smiling Trusted Professionals list to find these.
One other huge bonus of a divorce team
Nothing against divorce attorneys, in fact, I know countless divorce attorneys who are amazing (which you can also find in the Divorced Girl Smiling trusted professionals section. But, I can remember calling my attorney about EVERYTHING and guess what? It ended up costing me a fortune. I’d call if I was upset by my ex, I called in a panic because I didn’t know how I was going to get a mortgage without a job, I called when my ex wouldn’t speak to me and I didn’t know where he was even living!
Looking back, these are things that could have been dealt with by my divorce coach (which is a flat fee), therapist, or our mediator. I would get huge lawyer bills in the mail that would make me physically sick, yet I would continue to call my lawyer several times a week. The good news is that this kind of situation can all be avoided by hiring a divorce team!
The divorce team can also talk to each other (given your permission) which results in increased productivity and quality (better outcome) since they are on the same page, each knowing the whole picture—not just their part of it. For example, maybe you are wondering if it’s possible to stay in your home. Instead of calling your divorce attorney, who will then gather all your assets and give his/her best recommendation, Amanda (or another financial advisor) will help you gather all of your assets, spending, income, and more, and create a financial plan that will easily determine the answer to that question.
Your attorney’s job is to get you legally divorced with the best possible outcome. The attorney can do a much better job if you have hired Cherie (or another divorce coach) to help you with your emotions, decision making, (sometimes people getting divorced don’t even know what they want to ask for!) and co-parenting.
The attorney can do a much better job if you hire Erik (or another mediator) to help you and your ex sit in a room and determine a divorce settlement that works for both of you versus going to court and having a judge make those decisions, thereby costing you more money and taking more time. And your attorney can do a much better job if you have a full financial plan (with Amanda or another financial advisor) that can help you make better financial and lifestyle decisions.
In closing, divorce truly is hard, but there is a way to make the process smoother and to get a better outcome. A divorce team is the way.
