Growth and Transformation: Samos, Greece

My company, Divorced Girl Smiling, is designed to help people getting divorced find good professional resources, and that includes divorce coaches. So, almost on a daily basis, I am referring people to coaches I think can help them in growth and transformation. But what’s ironic is, I myself have never participated in a coaching program. I’ve never had one coaching session for myself. Ever.  Until this trip…

I met Culinary and Wellness Coach, Hannah McKitrick through business almost a year ago, and she became a Divorced Girl Smiling trusted professional. I immediately felt a connection and every time we’d get off the phone or finish recording a podcast together, I’d feel amazing–motivated, inspired, filled with joy.

I truly don’t know what made me do it, but signing up for her Embody Your Light retreat, which was taking place in Samos, Greece (9 women) just felt incredibly right. The trip was to include group coaching, culinary sessions, and other activities. Hannah and I talked about it and then I  signed up. Just like that. I think I told her I had to think about it for a few days, but that was it.

Keep in mind, I hadn’t been out of the country since 1987, (other than a cruise  to the Bahamas and trip to Mexico) and I was scared and uncomfortable traveling internationally. In fact, looking back, I was scared of so many things. Also, remember that I had never had coaching, let alone group coaching. And, I have always been a terrible cook.

Below is the journal I kept from the day I left for Greece and throughout the retreat. I wanted to share it so that you can see the growth and transformation that took place in me. I am truly blessed that I made this decision.

Here is my journal from the retreat:

 

Sunday, Oct. 13, 2024

 

I started crying right after I got through security at O’hare. Walking to my gate with tears running down my cheeks, I decided to stop in the bathroom. Once in a stall, that’s when I just bawled. I’m so scared. I love my life. I don’t want to die. I don’t want something bad to happen to me. How can I go so far away? I don’t want something bad to happen to my family while I’m gone. I’m a wreck.

I don’t like myself for feeling this way. What if I call John and tell him to come get me and just not go? That’s an option. But when I play it out, it’s not the right choice. If I don’t face this fear, I will feel like a scared loser and don’t think I’d ever get up the nerve to do this again. I’m done crying and proud of myself for not calling anyone. I’m stronger than this. I’m getting on the plane. That’s it.

 

Monday, Oct. 14, 2024 (morning)

 

Not only was the flight completely fine, I found it to be an experience. I learned a few things about international travel vs. domestic travel on planes: the bathrooms are larger, the windows don’t have shades, they have tint levels. The flight attendants are a lot nicer and don’t care if you walk around as much as you want. And, the flight is way too long to sit there and stress out about turbulence, so you just kind of surrender and tell yourself it will be fine. I also got lucky sitting next to the sweetest guy on earth-a newlywed, who was just adorable.

 

Akris drove me from the airport to the hotel. I got a whole history lesson, which left little time for getting nervous every time I thought we might get into an accident – which was about 6 times. He is a proud Greek who cherishes the culture and the knowledge of this beautiful place. The hotel is so quaint and elegant and you can see the Acropolis from many parts of it, including my room! I am headed up to the pool to relax and fall asleep in the sun.

(Night)

 

I spent the day by myself in Athens. I shopped in the old part of Athens called Plaka, and bought all my kids the cutest t-shirts with their names written in Greek on the back. I also bought Sue a pair of earrings for her birthday. I went to dinner at the hotel by myself, which for me is always uncomfortable. Breakfast, lunch or coffee, and even a drink, I’m good alone. But dinner is always a challenge-which is why I never do it.

I was too tired to have a cocktail at dinner, and what was so funny was, the waiter looked at me like I was crazy. It was like he had never had someone not order a drink. Hilarious. There was a really nice looking guy eating alone, also and he kept looking at me. I got a feeling he wanted to eat together. It was very flattering. Going to bed.

 

 

Tuesday, Oct. 15, 2024

 

Slept 10 hours. I have to confess, I took a Xanie. The breakfast buffet was unbelievable. The problem is, I never eat breakfast. Still, I had to get a full plate and try everything. The only things I actually ate were a pear, a piece of baklava and a bite of some raspberry moose thing that was ridiculously good. I had two coffees-regular black coffee and a café americano. The best part was, I sat out on the terrace overlooking the Acropolis. It’s incredible.

I talked to Isaac while finishing my coffee. 7:30am my time, 12:30 am his time. He is so funny. He said he thinks this trip will work out well since I can call him every morning and he stays up late. He is just darling. I’m so grateful for him. I feel so far away from my beloved Isaac, Anna, John and Jackson. But this is going to be so healthy for me. Next flight is the flight to Samos, where I will meet all the women for the retreat.

I learned a lot from my driver to the airport. The street we were on was a main street where during the holocaust, the Germans would shoot Jews and elderly people daily. He said that once a year they have a memorial at the top of that hill. I’m on a plane right now headed to Samos. It has propellors on it. Yes, I got on a propeller plane and I’m a little bit nervous but only a tiny bit. I’m surrendering and it feels empowering. The view of the islands is breathtaking.

 

Wednesday, Oct. 16, 2024

 

I am in awe of these women. Each and every one of them with their uniqueness, life tragedies, and life joys brings beautiful qualities into my life. It’s so funny to me how women are all so different, yet we meet and instantly find commonalities despite our diverse backgrounds and life experiences. Things like we were all stressed about making sure we had our coffee first thing in the morning, the importance of weight lifting, husbands, ex’s, kids, jobs, just everything you can imagine.

 

Last night, we enjoyed a 6 course dinner outside, overlooking the moon on the Mediterranean (actually, it’s the Aegean Sea). It was fairytale-like. By the end of the meal, every one of the women felt like an old friend. The dessert was Knafe, which made me think of my Aunt Sonia, who recently passed away. It almost felt like she was here with me, and put the dessert in front of me in celebration of this wonderful time.

I spoke with Isaac this morning. Oh, how I have gratitude for that kid. Anna and I talked for a minute last night, as she was working. She is trying to be so strong and supportive of my trip. It’s darling.

(Afternoon)

Just finished our first cooking class, where we made pita bread, tzticki, and Greek salad. The pita bread reminded me of growing up, when I’d come home from school and Teta would be baking bread, flour spread on the kitchen table, the whole house smelling delicious. I remember how much she loved me and it makes me happy.

 

 

Thursday, Oct. 17, 2024

I learned a lot about women last night—amazing women like the ones I’m with on this trip. So, we took a 45 minute bus ride to the top of a mountain for dinner. The roads were winding and hilly and it made me really sick on the way home. Motion sickness is something I get even in the slightest of excessive movement.

So, we get off the bus and I go to the hotel lobby and just sit on the couch. Within 3 minutes, 5 or 6 of these women are giving me carbonated water, ginger, Pepto Bismol, and sitting around me like mama bears. It was so endearing and means the world to me. Women are the most incredible people. They are inherently kind and thoughtful and caring to everyone. Most women I know put everyone else before themselves. It’s just the way we are.

Today we walked to the cutest little town in Samos and it made me happy to buy gifts for my family. I’m homesick. I miss my kids and John and the dog. I feel like I’ve been away for months. We then went out for lunch and our table was literally 20 feet from the sea. So we watched the waves crash and looked at the mountains while eating arugula salad with salmon, tsitski, fried feta, French fries, roasted peppers and more.

I feel like I’ve eaten all the same foods since I’ve been here. They are all prepared differently every day, but it comes down to: olive oil, feta, peppers, tomatoes, olives, cucumbers, and pita. I could eat this way forever.

There are lots of stray cats here and there was a kitten that I truly wanted to take home with me. And I don’t even like cats! Another thing that happened, our bus driver was waiting for us in the narrow street and a car stopped and a guy got out. I thought he was going to yell at our bus driver and say “You’re in the middle of the road!” But he just started talking to the guy. They were friends. It’s incredible how happy and kind and patient everyone is on this island. Life is very slow. It’s so nice.

 

Friday, Oct. 18, 2024

 

I have to talk about last night because it was meaningful. Because there was a full moon, we had the opportunity for a ritual allowing us to let go of things that weren’t serving us. So, we wrote down feelings and people and situations that we wanted to release, and then we put the list into a fire pit. It felt so cleansing and empowering to have control of your happiness—which I believe is the result of letting go of these toxic things that you just don’t need. We then played a card game, answering questions, exposing vulnerability and of course, gaining trust, non-judgement and love. Of course, the food was top-notch as always.

 

Saturday, Oct. 19, 2024

 

This trip is getting good! It was always good but these amazing women are working their way deep into my heart. Every single one. I am also adapting to the slow and simple culture of Samos. It’s so beautiful and feels healthy. Yesterday, I was walking and stepped on something that smashed. I realized it was an olive! There were olives falling off the trees and onto the deck! There are also basil plants, lavender and rosemary bushes all around. You just pick up smells when you’re walking and that just doesn’t happen in Chicago.

 

Yesterday, we went to the Casa Cook spa and did some body treatments, including the best massage I’ve ever had, with hot oil. Afterwards, we sat outside of the gorgeous spa on beds that were right over the pool. After a spa inspired lunch, we had our coaching circle.

We released what we didn’t want in our lives the night before, so at this circle, we each shared what we want to bring in. I realize I need more balance and I need to stop rushing through life. I need to stop and enjoy beauty, just like the olives and the lavender and basil and rosemary. Not quite as beautiful where I live, but there is beauty everywhere. The place isn’t what matters. It’s taking the time to notice little things. Oh, I am also in love with cats now. I never liked them before this trip.

 

We had a beautiful Greek barbecue for dinner. All the meals are being prepared by Chef Alex, an adorable young guy who emits love and passion for everything he creates. He is also our cooking school instructor. Alex made everything on skewers last night—from bread to vegetables, chicken and even dessert. Food just kept coming- dolmates, spinach pies, and fried feta (that was my favorite).

I can feel a closeness with the group, everyone less guarded and we are all becoming like old friends. I have started taking a selfie with each of the 8 women, so that I can tell John about each one, and what she means to me.

 

 

Sunday, Oct. 20, 2024

 

Yesterday felt like 3 days. We cooked in the morning and made eggplant rolls with cheese and tomato sauce with basil yogurt and loukimadis,  I then went shopping in town with one of the girls and bought gifts for my friends and family, or is it an effort to take back as much of this place as possible so I never forget it?!

 

 

Later in the day we went to a village called Pythagoria. We shopped on an adorable street that led up to the sea and somewhat of a harbor with yachts. The view was breathtaking. I bought Mom figs, and bought a beautiful scarf for Vicki and other little gifts. We ate dinner at a restaurant facing the water, and then stopped for gelato on the way back to the bus.

On the way back to the bus, this woman looks at me and exclaims, “Hi! How are you?” At first, I thought she thought I was a local (which would be impossible) but then one of the girls told me she worked at the spa we had gone to the day before and recognized me! The people here are so kind and friendly and happy. It’s a beautiful culture.

 

Monday, Oct. 21, 2024

 

I think yesterday was my favorite day, although I could say that about many days on this trip. We went hiking on a mountain, on a trail that was so remote, my anxiety and fears were in full gear, despite the stunningly picturesque backdrop of the sea. Snakes, animals, bug bites, someone slipping… these terrible things occurred to me. For the first half of the hike. Then, a magical sense of faith and empowerment came over me and I was able to truly relish the fresh air, the beauty, and of course, the women all around me. One of them said yesterday that she’s felt “held” all week. That is exactly how I have felt.

 

After the hike we sat on the beach, ate a packed lunch (which was out of this world-veggie wraps, chicken wraps, hummus, and chocolate desserts), and had our closing circle. Everyone shared what we want to take home with us and what we want to leave here.

I shared that I wanted to take home all my new friends, of course, but also the slowness and simplicity of the Samos culture. The ability to stop and look around at the beauty of little things-not just in Greece, but anywhere in life. There is so much beauty and so many miracles going on every second, and I don’t want to miss out on that anymore. What I want to leave here is unnecessary anxiety, the “what-if” mentality, the negative.

We all picked up a rock and threw it in the sea as a symbol of what we are leaving here and then the adorable Hannah exclaims, “Who’s going in?” She takes off her beach cover and runs into the sea (which was freezing.) One by one, they all ran. Except me. I stood there thinking, ‘I don’t want to get wet and cold.’ Then, in my yoga pants and sports bra, I joined them. Yes, it was freezing! But it was a plunge that felt incredibly freeing for me—a leap of faith, the joining of my friends, and the empowerment that I can do anything anything anything I want, and nothing should hold me back. Taking that plunge and being cold is getting out of your comfort zone. Shocking your body, doing something you wouldn’t do in the past.

 

Dinner was a wine pairing with four courses that included feta and tomato, octopus, pasta, and the best chocolate thing I’ve ever eaten. Seriously. We took pictures and laughed and talked like old friends. Now it was getting sad. All of them are leaving tomorrow, I’m thinking.

I got back to my room to change for the pajama party in our main meeting space, when I saw this huge black spider on the ceiling; the one I suspect has been biting my legs all week. I had no idea what to do, so I went downstairs and one of my new friends came up and got him out of the room-standing on a chair, using a hanger to get him down, followed by a glass with a card covering it. She refused to kill him. I love this woman.

 

(afternoon)

 

Alone again. Everyone has left. But this time, I feel good. I feel relaxed and happy-not insecure and scared. I worked out and then went to the pool at the hotel where I’m staying tonight called Armonia Bay. I just finished lunch- an Aegean flatbread. The crust. That’s all I’m going to say.

 

I miss my new friends, now all on their way back home or to another destination for a last leg of vacation. There is no way to describe these women, all powerhouses, who I respect and adore for each of their unique personalities. This is almost impossible to do, but I will attempt to describe each person in 2-4 adjectives. I know it won’t do them justice, but I feel like doing it.

 

1. Warm, welcoming, fun-loving, inclusive

2. Kind, elegant, caring, healing

3. The cutest, energetic, loveable, driven, carefree in many ways

4. Smart, sensible, soft-side, leader

5. Happy, thoughtful, strong

6. Kindhearted, gentle, caring, darling

7. Guarded (just at the beginning), resilient, kindhearted, delightful

8. Charming, appealing, wonderful

9. pleasant, affable, motivated, adorable

 

I wonder what words they would use for me. I can only hope they appreciated me half as much as I do them. I look forward to the new relationships I have gained.

 

Tuesday, Oct. 22, 2024

 

I’m on the plane from Samos back to Athens. International travel alone is a little bit lonely, but there’s something enticing about it. I feel very confident and cool. I might be the only American on the flight. People are from everywhere. It’s very interesting. I never enjoyed flying at night, but tonight is different. I’m calm. Sort of. Small plane. Propellers…You get it.

 

I’m ready to go home but I am so sad to leave Samos. I would have loved more time in Athens. I love this culture. I love the food. I am so surprised at how great the wines are. Everything is so old. I truly appreciate that. I want to take my kids here. I feel like I’ve cheated them and cheated myself by not traveling more internationally. I’m watching the sunset from a small plane at 30 thousand feet. How beautiful is that? Oh, also, there is no airplane mode on flights in Greece. 🙂

I try to start a conversation with this woman sitting next to me. She speaks zero English. I offer her some walnuts and we become friends. She has no idea what I’m saying and vice-versa but I figured out she’s lived in Samos her whole life. No idea why she’s going to Athens. I shared my photos on my phone with her and she said she loves Kokkari. She has also been to the restaurant where we ate in Pythagoria I know that only because one of the photos was taken in front of the restaurant and she recognized it. I get off the plane and basically follow everyone to baggage claim. There are no boards with signs from the city you just came from, so you basically just look for people who were on your flight to determine where your bag is coming out.

(Before bed)

Really funny. I just went out for dinner and ordered a Greek salad and it came with onions (which I was insulted by because true Greeks do not put onions in their Greek salads, according to chef Alex.) Also, I asked for bread and the waiter brings me these dinner rolls. I’m like, “Umm…no, I need pita bread, please.” Not sure I can ever look at a dinner roll the same way again!

 

Wednesday, Oct. 23, 2024

 

I’m not gonna lie, I really appreciated being back in a semi-Americanized hotel. The Sofitel at the Athens airport was blissful, as I got my first good blow-dry in 10 days, and enjoyed using a washcloth in the shower. (Apparently they don’t have washcloths in the Greek Islands.)

The Athens airport was confusing, and it took me awhile to find my way to my gate. But what I realized is, I don’t think before this trip that I had enough faith in people. Of course, every person on earth is unique, but people all over the world are basically the same in that they are kind and helpful if you ask. I think my lack of faith in people of other nations is one of the reasons I was scared of international travel. I can’t speak for any other country than Greece, but these people were awesome.

I ended up in line for an hour and a half, so unfortunately I wasn’t able to shop, which was a shame because the stores in the airport were fantastic. I did manage to dash into a jewelry store and bought a friend of mine a beautiful gift to thank her for what she is doing for my kids right now, for which I am so so so grateful. I also bought another bracelet, and haven’t decided if I should keep it for myself or give it to someone.

The only regret I have is that I left Greece without buying baklava. There were 10 places that had freshly made baklava and I just didn’t have time to stop. I almost didn’t have time to grab something to eat, but I ended up getting a yogurt with granola, which was amazing. Those Greeks and their yogurt! I passed a Starbucks, by the way, and found myself disgusted. 🙂  I’m going to settle into the flight, watch a couple movies and try to nap.

 

Friday, Oct. 25, 2024

 

I’ve been home for about a day and a half and settling back into my old life. Then again, life for me seems totally different. My perspective has changed a lot. Nothing upsets me anymore. Little things are little, the stuff that used to aggravate me, I find myself letting it roll off and saying to myself, ‘The universe will take care of it. Nothing I can do.’I pause a lot and think of all my lovely new friends. They have given me newfound strength and support. I miss each of them a lot. My old fears and anxiety are very distant to me now, replaced by gratitude, positivity and surrender.

I want to close this journal by telling you that looking back, this retreat has changed my life so much for the better. The memories are wonderful and I had a lot of fun, but it’s more than that. I feel calm and at peace, and I hold in my heart new friendships and gratitude for my present life. It’s not perfect, but it doesn’t have to be. All I can do is continue my growth and transformation: to keep learning, be my best self, make a difference in the world, and find joy as much as I can.

I left a lot of baggage (and a few people) in the Aegean sea, and took home the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. (I say I took it home because it will always be in my heart). I am truly blessed and I knew that before the trip, but that feeling is richer now, it’s more alive, and I guess you could say it’s sweeter. Maybe I didn’t need to bring home the baklava.