Yes, you read correctly. When going through a divorce or blending a new family, putting the children’s needs above everyone else’s, is toxic. In fact, it is not a good idea for any family. It is a great recipe for unhealthy parent-child relationships and dysfunctional families.
Since I founded this platform in 2015, I’ve been mentoring parents and children through separation, divorce and blending new families and, I am witness to the disruption of family constellations on a daily basis. We are paying a dear price for generations of disturbing the balance, order and systems of our families.
It would take less than 5 minutes of your time to watch this video where I explain more.
As a child of divorce, I have been part of blended or step families for most of my life and I’ve been studying the impact of the way we treat “broken marriages” for decades. It is high time that the public and service providers in the divorce industry be educated and warned about the dire consequences of the traditional practices when dissolving marriages and creating parenting plans.
If you are feeling triggered right now, I understand completely. Allow yourself to be with all your emotions and when you are feeling calmer, take some time to examine the impact it has had on you, to always put your children first. Then, let’s talk some more about this. We need to talk to others about this.
Written by Sinta Ebersohn (founder of www.fairdivorce.co.za – Cape Town)