Modifying Your Parenting Time Plan

By Sarah J. Jacobs, Family Law Attorney 

When you first separated from your ex, your parenting time plan may have taken a lot of time to negotiate. You may have had to compromise on holidays, vacation time, and how significant decisions are made for your child. You probably spent a lot of time worrying about what would be best for your child, and hopefully, the plan you agreed on has served your family well. 

But, as time has marched on, the circumstances you find yourself in now may be different from when you signed the parenting time agreement. As your child gets older, school schedules change and extracurricular activities can take over more of their free time. And if you’ve also moved homes or experienced professional changes, you may find you get to a point where your existing parenting time schedule doesn’t meet your needs as well as it used to. 

In these situations, consider modifying your parenting time plan. The beginning of a new school year is a juncture when this often comes to mind for families; after all, September is “the other January”—a logical time for a fresh start.

And while modifying your parenting time plan won’t happen overnight, you can put the wheels in motion ahead of time to make the transition smoother. 

Let’s look at three questions: when to modify your parenting time plan, how to do it, and why you should consult an attorney.

When to modify your parenting time plan

Generally speaking, if you and your co-parent agree that a change is needed and can agree on the terms, any time is a good time to modify your parenting arrangement. 

However, if you think there will be a dispute and that you may need the court’s help, you must consider the standards a court uses to assess modification requests. 

Typically, a court will modify the parenting plan only if there is a “significant change” in your family circumstances. These changes usually have to be demonstrably long-term for a modification request to support the court entering a new order. 

For example, if one parent moves far away, they might file a modification request asking for their every-other-weekend schedule to be changed to school breaks instead. A parent’s work schedule could change so they can no longer take their child to and from school. Similarly, an ill parent may be unable to meet their parental responsibilities while undergoing medical treatment.

But parents aren’t the only ones whose circumstances change.

Your child’s needs can shift dramatically throughout their school years. If your family’s day-to-day routine has been materially altered by a new school, longer school days, practices, lessons, or activities, it may be in your child’s best interest to modify your current parenting plan. This is a more nuanced set of changes, however, so it’s best to consult with an experienced family law attorney to help you understand whether this would meet the burden in the court’s eyes for modification.

You should also consider modifying your parenting time schedule if one parent consistently fails to comply with the scheduled visitation. If your ex regularly cancels their scheduled time, doesn’t meet for exchanges at the right time, tries to alter the schedule at the last minute, or is unresponsive, the existing agreement is not working as intended and should be changed.

How to modify your parenting time plan

As we said above, how you go about modifying your parenting plan depends in large part on whether or not you and your co-parent agree on the changes that need to be made. Some co-parents are able to do this on their own, and some may choose to work with a family law mediator or two attorneys who are settlement-oriented and can work together. 

If you and your former partner can agree on a new parenting time schedule, the process may be less complicated. After you get the changes you’ve both agreed to in writing and reviewed by your family law attorneys, you can file a motion for an uncontested modification.

However, even if both parties are on board with the new schedule, it’s a good idea to include documentation detailing how the “significant changes” impact the existing agreement as well as evidence showing actual parenting time versus scheduled time and if it differs from prior orders or agreements. Most importantly, filing the new versions with the court is key.

But what if you and your co-parent can’t reach an agreement?

In that scenario, you may have to file a request, or motion application, with the court. Depending on the circumstances, the court may require you and your co-parent to participate in mediation before they hear your case.

If you do go to court to get your parenting plan modified, be prepared; you can improve your chances of achieving your goals by collecting evidence that shows:

• Actual parenting time vs. scheduled parenting time
• Custody issues that have arisen, with detailed notes (ideally taken at the same time the issues arose)
• The need for enforcement of child custody or child support orders in the past (any existing police or court records)
• Examples of how changed family circumstances have made the current parenting schedule unworkable

Why your attorney should be involved in the modification

Adjusting your parenting time schedule by a few hours now and then or swapping days on a case-by-case basis doesn’t need to be court-approved if you and your co-parent agree on it ahead of time. But anything more than an occasional juggle demands insight from your attorney.

People often (mistakenly) view using a lawyer as confrontational, when the truth is that using an attorney as soon as issues arise can actually prevent confrontations. Working with a family law attorney, even when you and your co-parent are on the same page, protects both of you from unforeseen pitfalls or unsupported claims down the road. 

Parenting time court orders are a big deal, even in the most amicable divorces. Modifying a parenting time schedule can impact child custody and child support agreements, and altering the terms of your parenting plan significantly without court approval can have long-term ramifications you may not be aware of.

Additionally, any agreement you and your co-parent work out on your own is not enforceable by the court or police. You will have no legal recourse or protection if your co-parent suddenly decides they don’t like the new, non-binding parenting plan. Moreover, they could take you to court for violating the original parenting plan.

An experienced lawyer can help you create a strategy that ensures you’re taking the proper steps under state laws to adjust your parenting time agreement and guide you through bringing about the change your family needs.

As a Family Law Attorney and Mediator, Sarah Jacobs has been representing and protecting the rights of her clients for nearly 20 years. She is the co-founder of the family law firm Jacobs Berger, LLC in Morristown, New Jersey and is dedicated to providing dynamic and personalized legal solutions that benefit divorcing families and helps make the divorce process less stressful.

Related Articles:

Parenting Plan Modification FAQs 

Handling Visitation Plan Problems 

Taking the Sting Out of Visitation