“Do you ever wish you could wave a magic wand and make your energy-draining ex go away so your life would be happier, more peaceful and free from his stress and drama?”
Triggered by Your Ex
Although I was the one who initiated our divorce, I was so angry and resentful towards my ex. Even the mere mention of his name, would set me off. As shameful as it is to admit now, I would often have dark thoughts of him falling off the face of the Earth or that the ground would somehow open up and swallow him whole. Thankfully, none of these things happened because my children would not be happy.
Besides, he has proven to be quite handy to have around once I was able to recognize his value. And that only happened AFTER I did my emotional healing work, by the way!
Divorce Pain
When I was acting from a place of divorce pain, I truly believed that if I could just get the monkey off my back and he would just go away, that my life would be nothing short of pure bliss!
Often, I would think back at our picture-perfect married life when things were good and we were both happy and wonder how we ended up divorced. In fact, I NEVER saw myself as ever getting divorced in a million years. Nor did our family and friends. So, what happened to us? Where did the love go? How did I wind up being a single divorced mom?”
I was convinced that our marriage was a strong one. In fact, I would always say a silent prayer to ensure his safety each morning when he left for work because I couldn’t imagine my life without him. Perhaps it was his inability to show me any real emotion, combined with my fear of showing him my emotional vulnerabilities.
Perhaps it was the lack of bonding time we had, which would have made me feel special, appreciated, and loved by him instead of unappreciated and taken for granted. Perhaps I got married too young, without taking the time to discover who I truly was first.
Perhaps I should have dated more men instead of marrying the first guy who asked me out. Perhaps it was a lack of “me” time because of all my responsibilities as a mother of three children and the endless family commitments.
Perhaps I married my ex to get away from my own dysfunctional family and controlling parents. Or, perhaps it was the combination of all these reasons that kept me stuck feeling unhappy, unworthy, and unforgiving!
Emotionally Triggered
Whichever it was, this was why I kept getting “emotionally triggered” by my ex and wished that he would somehow just go away. It wasn’t until I went through the divorce grieving process and gave myself the necessary healing time that I realized that my negative attitude towards my ex was the “symptom” of deep-rooted pain that was causing me to be unhappy as a result of living with more fear…than love!
This small, but huge, piece of emotional coaching advice I just gave you took me over 20 years to figure out on my own. Now, as an energy healer and emotional health coach, I can assure you with strong conviction that any suppressed negative emotions you might be pushing down inside of yourself could eventually cause a massive disruption in some way, shape, or form in your life…and the life of your children!
Suppressed Negative Emotions
Suppressing negative emotions is like trying to hold down a beach ball underwater. Eventually, when your energy is too low and you get tired, you are bound to drop the ball. And, it will spring out of the water uncontrollably and with a vengeance. Your unresolved emotional triggers are like that too!
Any suppressed negative emotions from your divorce that you have not emotionally healed and have pushed down inside of yourself will eventually get triggered and show up as either anger, resentment, sadness or unforgiveness towards your ex.
Understandably, as a divorced mom, it would feel natural to believe that the source of your unhappiness is COMPLETELY your ex’s fault! And, the easiest solution to being happy is for your ex to just “go away”, but unfortunately, it is not the answer. The answer to being a HAPPY DIVORCED MOM is to emotionally heal from your divorce so you can move forward into a better, healthier, happier life for you and your children!
*MY COACHING RECOMMENDATION to you is…
“Do not postpone your happiness for even one more day. Start improving your emotional health right now!”