My name is Paula and I made a mistake. For three years I was married to my ex-husband Tim. We had an argument about finances and it led to a divorce. We had different ideas about how to organize our money. When Tim and I first met, we were in high school. We were not high school sweethearts or anything, just classmates. After we graduated, we stayed in contact and while other people from our high school moved away, we were some of the last people that stayed in town. It was during that time that we spent more and more time together. It felt so nice to have someone around with similar experiences. Being with Tim was so comfortable.
Well, after about a year he proposed and I had no reason to refuse. We got along so well and I suppose we get along fine now, too. Tim was never an adventurous sort of person, which is why he never left our hometown. I never left because I was so close to my mom. Though, after Tim and I were married for about a year, my mother passed away from cancer. After that, Tim really took care of me for a while because I was a mess. Both Tim and I had jobs and made plenty of money to support ourselves. Our financial trouble was that I wanted to utilize the money to travel and go on vacations, while Tim wanted to invest money in stock and in our home to make it even more comfortable. At first, I was on board with his plan because it was sensible to save money and then go on exciting vacations after getting even more money.
Though, I realized pretty quickly that Tim was focused on saving money and being prepared for anything. He had no interest in traveling and would prefer to stay at home. I kept telling him that I wanted to go on vacations and travel, but he would always tell me that we should save more money first, just in case. I respect that he is such a cautious and thoughtful person, but after a while, I began to feel trapped in my own home with my husband.
I guess we should have been saving our money separately so that his money could go towards what he wanted and mine could go towards traveling. That would have been the smart decision, but instead, we lumped all our money together and we argued. I got more and more frustrated by the situation and by our third year together, we had really grown apart. One day, I told Tim that I thought it would be best if we got a divorce. I kind of expected a heated argument, like we usually had about finances, but when it came to everything else, he was a very calm and agreeable person. I could tell that as I said the words it was a mistake, at least the way I handled it. I still wanted a divorce, but I can almost remember the moment I saw Tim’s heartbreak and his eyes drift to the floor.
“If that is what you want,” he said softly, “I am sorry.”
It always struck me as weird that he apologized. Without hesitation, he was willing to take the blame, even though it was a mutual problem in our relationship. For the time while we were getting a divorce, I noticed how quiet Tim became. He rarely looked up from the floor to face me. I just felt worse and worse about the situation. Eventually, we met with an arbiter and got everything figured out. With someone helping us to talk things out, we were not arguing anymore, just working together to get the divorce finalized.
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