How to Create Affirmations That Work — The Dynamic Divorcée

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Step 1: Name exactly what you want to change.  Get specific.  What is wrong?  What isn’t working? And what do you want instead?  

(Special note, if you’re going through a breakup or divorce:  What you want to change has to be about your life, and your life only.  We aren’t in charge of making other people change how they feel — or, at least, that’s not within the realm of affirmations.  So, “I want him back!” isn’t an affirmation that will change things — in fact, it’s more likely to ensure that he won’t come back.  But, I’m getting a little bit ahead of myself.)

You know you’re onto something when you name what you want and immediately, you’re brain is flooding with thoughts like:  

1) I can’t have what I want because ____________________

2) Only a few can do this and I’m not the one _____________________

3) I’ve tried as hard as I can, so it’s impossible.

That resistance is a sign that you’ve identified something that an affirmation can really work with. Why? Because it’s identified one of the blocks that is keeping you from having it.

Step 2: Getting unstuck. 

You know those emotions you just felt around, “but I can’t have that thing or that relationship or that career or that experience because _________________.”

It’s time to brainstorm some shifts to those negative thoughts — and here’s the key:  The positive shifts have to be rooted in something that you have some evidence to believe is true. 

For example:

1) Well, actually, I have had success / a good relationship / or been complimented on my talent / but I just didn’t go all the way . . .

2) What would success feel like to me? If I’m stuck right now on one path, which other path feels easier?  (In this part of the process, you’re trying to identify an easier path to what you want. In other words, don’t keep trying to believe in something that hasn’t worked for you.  Go down a different fork in the road that will still end up at the same place.)

3) Are you feeling stuck because you’re burned out from years and years of effort that didn’t pay off? If yes, you may find it hard to envision a better, happier future because you’re completely exhausted and can’t bear the idea of trying even one more thing. Your affirmation may be more helpful if it addresses the burnout first, and helps you to get your mojo back.

So, now, you know a little bit more about why affirmations you’ve tried in the past haven’t been able to do anything for you.

So, let’s start creating one that can.

Step 3: Finding the feeling of ahhhhhh.  I call affirmations “incantations.”  Because the words are calling up a feeling state, a feeling of ahhhhhh! that creates the vibration where magic can happen.

What words about what is possible for you come to mind when you:

1) Keep focusing on the positive evidence

2) Keep picturing the feeling of happiness

3) Keep creating your picture of the easy path to what you want. 

When you visualize all this, what words describe the new reality you are living?  This is where you grab a piece of paper and just stream out of your hand the divine downloads you’re receiving.

Step 4:  Adding your own magic words.  What are some words you completely agree with (that is, you don’t say “no way, that will never happen”?) that also bring up powerful feeling emotions of happiness and relief when you speak them? 

For example:

1) I am guided only to people and places that help me to ____________________.

2) I feel myself always in the right place at the right time, being drawn to the right people, the right information, and the right advice.

3) I’m always connected to ever-generous divine grace that wants me to fulfill my dreams.

4) Every time I ask, the right answer is immediately presented to me.

5) I choose the easiest, most joyful path to my goal and I see my next step now.  I don’t need to know the entire path.  I thrive on taking one step at a time.

Step 5: Getting specific — and truly calling it into being.  Exactly how are people in your life treating you?  What do you want them to say?  What do you want them to do?  

The best incantations are more than just one general sentence.  They’re specific.  You can really feel them because the language is so vivid, so true, so real.

They are at least 5 or 6 sentences because, through your words, you’re living that new reality in full color.

Then, from that big, powerful, magic incantation, you can pick out just pieces of it to repeat for whatever need you have.

Getting exactly the right language for all this is where you might need a little more help — and I have a gift for you.

Are you ready to create your powerful, life-changing incantation? Let me send you a step-by-step affirmation generator that helps you to create an incantation that really works.  Just fill in the box below.


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