Let\u2019s face it. People get nervous on dates, especially first dates. You want everything to go well, and you don\u2019t want to say the wrong thing. Actually, people think way too into things when it comes to what to say on a date and what not to say.<\/p>\n
One question that will almost always come up, either on a first date or soon after is, \u201cWhy did you get divorced<\/a>?\u201d I mean, you can\u2019t blame the date for wanting to know, right? This is just part of getting to know one another.<\/p>\n As a person who has experienced these kinds of conversations on dates, (both the one who has asked the question and who has been asked) I can honestly say that when people ask \u201cWhy did you get divorced?\u201d or \u201cWhat happened in your marriage?\u201d they know they aren\u2019t getting the full story.<\/p>\n The former spouse isn\u2019t on the date to offer their side of what happened in the divorce. Wouldn\u2019t it be nice if we could hear the ex-spouse\u2019s side? It would tell you a lot about your date, but that\u2019s not going to happen.<\/p>\n So, if we ask our divorced dates why they got divorced,<\/a> and we\u2019re only getting one side of the story, why do we want to know? Because we want to hear what they have to say. We want to see if there\u2019s bitterness in the answer. We want to see if things add up. We want to gauge the sincerity of the response. Because even from one side of the story, we can get the landscape of the person\u2019s situation.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Several years ago, when I was dating, I met a guy on Facebook who was newly separated. We decided to meet at a bar. I felt more comfortable with my friends around, so I made the evening a group get together.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n The four of us talked a lot and eventually it was just he and I in a conversation. So, I asked him, \u201cWhy are you getting divorced?<\/a>\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n His response was, \u201cWell, my wife and I were going through a tough time and I did some things I probably shouldn\u2019t have.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n I tried to hide the fact that my jaw was on the ground. This guy just admitted to cheating.\u00a0 Boom. Deal breaker for me. This guy clearly got it wrong. Immediately, I was done. From that moment on, I had no interest in ever going out with him again. I know that sounds judgmental, closed-minded and short sighted, but that\u2019s how I felt. It was a complete turnoff, and what was sad was, he really did seem like a good person. Still, there was no turning back from that response.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n![\"Maria](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dgs-1def7.kxcdn.com\/wp-content\/themes\/divorce-girl-smiling\/images\/maria-spears-cta.jpg?resize=275%2C275&ssl=1\")
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![\"Joanne](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/dgs-1def7.kxcdn.com\/wp-content\/themes\/divorce-girl-smiling\/images\/litman-eagle-strategies.jpg?resize=275%2C275&ssl=1\")
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