Divorcee’s Guide to Moving Out and Moving On
It is a sad day when a couple decides to get a divorce, but if it happens, then it is important for each party to move on and start their life anew. In many cases, that might require one of you to move out of the house.
However, before you pick up and leave, you will want to do a lot of thinking about how relocation will affect your family, what you should pack and bring with you, and where you will set up your new life. If you are recently divorced, then we have some tips for how to do all of the above.
Consider Your Family Before You Move
You may be so distraught after your divorce that the first thought in your mind may be to pack as fast as you can and get out, but you have to take a moment to think about your situation first. This is especially true if you have children. If you leave too soon, then it may appear that you are abandoning your family, and that can have emotional and legal implications.
For instance, if you are not at home with the kids, then down the line, it may be seen by a judge that you shouldn’t have custody. You need to prove that you have an interest in being a parent, and sometimes, even if living in the same house may be tough, it might be the best decision. Of course, that thought does not apply if you are subject to physical or mental abuse in the home.
Also, if you move out, you may weaken your chances of getting a claim to the house once the divorce is finalized. Most importantly, even though you are getting divorced, for the time being, it is important that you continue to stay around the kids so you can comfort them when they are down and be there to explain things so they don’t believe they are responsible.
Once the divorce is finalized and the terms are decided and signed, then you can start packing and finding a new place to live without fear.
Considerations For Packing And Unpacking
Once you are sure that your move won’t hurt the kids and your life in general, it is then time to start packing.
Begin with your personal items but be cautious when packing anything with sentimental value. The last thing you want is to start to build a new life elsewhere only to open a box and see a family photo or an item from a trip and be overwhelmed with sadness. Go room by room and find those sentimental items and put them to the side. You can either dispose of those items or if you are still not ready to let go, at least pack all of that stuff in its own separate box and clearly label it, so you know not to open the box until you are emotionally ready.
You’ll also need to think about pets. It is not right for one of you to take the pet without talking about it first. If there is no mutual decision, then consider these questions to ask when deciding who will get the pet after a breakup:
- Who purchased the pet in the first place?
- Who watches and maintains the pet the most?
- Who pays for the food and vet visits?
- Also, think about which of you will have the space to allow the pet to live its best life and make a good decision from there.
If you find that you are emotionally exhausted or that you have too much stuff to pack, then consider hiring a full-service moving company to help you out. Many companies will pack all of your boxes, transport them, and then unpack them at your destination. Make sure to do your research ahead of time and read customer reviews. Also, ask for quotes to ensure that you find a business that fits your budget.
Choosing Where To Live
Finding a final landing spot may be the hardest part of moving. If you share custody of the kids, then you probably won’t want to live too far away, so you can see them every chance that you get. Some women may also desire to move out of state. If you do, then there may be some issues, and you may have to modify the divorce agreement to say that you desire to live long distance. Even if you are the custodial parent, you may have to state in the divorce document how far you plan to move away. So keep that all under consideration.
You will also need to consider your job when looking for a destination. You don’t want to be so far away that you have a long commute that takes time away from your kids. If you are getting any money in the divorce, then this might be a chance to consider a new career, or you could work from home as a freelancer. There are many at-home jobs you can do, from working as a freelance writer to tutoring people online, so consider the option.
It is important to remember that you do not need to move into a house right away, especially if you are unsure of your financial situation. In the meantime, you could consider a studio apartment. Sometimes a 500-square foot home may seem a bit constricting, but there are many ways that you can furnish and make a studio apartment your own. You can split the space into separate segments, where one area could be where you put the kitchen table and another is the “living room” where you have your couch and TV. You can even add nightstands and home decor to fit your tastes.
As you can see, there are a lot of considerations to make before you decide to move out and move on with your life after a divorce. Consider the tips and advice above and make the best decision for you and your family.