Co-parenting is important. Remember, you’re not the only one who has been affected by your divorce. By maintaining healthy relationships with both parents, your kids are more likely to have an easier time with the separation.
However, when you have to split your time with your kids, you might be worried about losing the strong bonds you already have, or not being able to keep them up.
However, it’s not impossible to create strong bonds with your children.
Through purposeful activities and strong communication skills, you can boost your bonds with your kids at every age, while being an effective co-parent in their lives. Let’s cover some of the best ways to strengthen those bonds and maintain a healthy relationship with them.
1. Boost Your Communication Skills
One of the best ways to strengthen your bond with your kids is to talk to them. It might sound simple, but having effective conversations is about more than just “skimming the surface.” Rather, you should focus on digging deeper with your children.
It’s important to remember that communication habits start early. However, you can start to create better ones at any time. Really communicating and listening to your child gives you the opportunity to learn more about them, and helps to build trust and intimacy in your relationship. To be a better listener, try some of the following tips:
- Give your child your full attention
- Schedule designated times to talk and catch up
- Use nonverbal communication to respond to their words
- Ask questions
- Validate their thoughts and feelings
When your child feels like you’re really listening, they’re more likely to open up and show vulnerability. That will strengthen your bond and make you their go-to person to turn to when they’re dealing with anything out of the ordinary.
2. Be Intentional With Activities
If you want to create a strong bond with your children, spend time with them.
There are countless ways to share your one-on-one time, but some are better than others when it comes to giving your relationship a boost. For example, there’s nothing wrong with taking your kids to the movies, but you should also try to encourage activities that allow you to interact with each other.
Reading together is one of the best ways to practice intentionality with your activities. If your child isn’t old enough to read on their own, make reading one or two books to them a part of your daily routine. Reading aloud can help them develop a secure attachment style. It’s also a wonderful way to foster creativity and help your child learn more about their interests.
Taking a walk together every day, cooking dinner together, or immersing yourself in your children’s hobbies are all great options for activities that will pull you closer. It’s essential to spend one-on-one time together and to encourage play and creativity. Not only will it boost your child’s development, but it will help you both to create lasting memories and establish a more comfortable relationship with each other.
3. Be a Better Co-Parent
Co-parenting isn’t always easy.
Even if your marriage ended amicably, it can be difficult; you might have different parenting techniques or thoughts on how things should be done.
Unfortunately, the more you butt heads with your co-parent, the weaker your bond with your children may become. When all of your energy goes into arguing with the other parent, it takes away from what really matters. When they see that discord, they might feel like they can’t open up to either one of you, or they might feel more uncomfortable around one of you because of things they’ve heard.
If you want to have a healthy bond with your child, make a sincere effort to be a better communicator with your former partner. Use some of the following techniques to make it easier on yourself:
- Practice a cooperative approach
- Don’t disrespect each other
- Provide necessary information about your children
- Do what you can to stay on the same page
- Try different communication options
It might take a while to find what works for you as co-parents. However, it’s putting in the effort that matters. Your children don’t deserve to be caught in the middle of a firestorm because you can’t communicate properly with your ex.
You might feel like there’s never enough time to spend with your kids, and that’s one of the unfortunate drawbacks of co-parenting. However, you can still create strong bonds and make the most of the time you do have by being as intentional and present as possible. Keep these ideas in mind to improve your relationship with your children, and find a healthy balance in your co-parenting lifestyle.