Over 17% of modern marriages began through online dating. It’s easier to find true love when you don’t have to leave your living room to scour the market. That doesn’t mean you can win the digital dating game without effort, though.
Online dating success demands authenticity, honesty, and integrity – all the traits you need to build a lasting romance.
9 Tips For Beating The Online Dating Game
Finding the Right Website
The internet boasts more than 1,500 dating sites, and each comes with its own culture.
Some sites are built for wedding bells, while others specialize in matchmaking algorithms. Some have a hookup culture, while others are more LGBTQ+ friendly.
It might be possible to find true love on Tinder, but you’ll have an easier time using a site like OkCupid instead.
If you’re dating after divorce, eHarmony or Elite Singles might serve you better. It goes without saying that there’s more than just one dating site for divorced parents. Single Parent Match and Plenty of Fish will probably serve you best if your little ones haven’t flown the nest yet.
Like all things anthropological, you can’t find the right dating culture without immersing yourself in the ecosystem. This is a long game, and it’ll reward you if you take the time to understand the sites you’re using.
Creating the Perfect Persona
Dishonesty won’t serve you well in the dating game, especially when you turn up at the restaurant looking like yourself instead of Scarlett Johansson.
You’ll enjoy more luck dating a divorced man or woman if you are honest, and your profile is the first step. By showing others your true self, it will make life much easier when it comes to finding the ideal person for you!
You should show your strengths but it’s equally important to be honest throughout the process. Authenticity is your greatest asset, so don’t be afraid to throw a few human frailties into your profile description.
The same principle applies to your avatar. It’s tempting to photoshop yourself Vogue-worthy, but resist! Choose a flattering picture, but make sure it looks like you!
Dating Advice for Divorced Men
Some sites have an unbalanced male / female gender ratio, so the ladies are often overwhelmed with offers. To stand out, you’ll need all the old-fashioned qualities that have fuelled romance for centuries: Traits like respect, a sharp sense of humor, and well-observed boundaries. Resist the temptation to run into her inbox kink too quickly.
Your new partner wants to be appreciated as a person, not a body. As the good book says, ‘thou shalt not sexually harass strangers on eHarmony’.
Dating After A Divorce: Quality Over Quantity
Some people treat online dating as a numbers game, sending 50 copy-paste messages a minute. Others read profiles and engage with each individual on their own merits. While the former might earn you a few more dates, the latter will bring you better odds of success.
People love being treated as humans rather than numbers, so take the time to get a sense of someone’s profile before you shoot them your first message. It’s easier than you might think to identify a copy-pasted introduction! With that being said, if you choose quality engagements over quantitative success, you’ll save time in the long run!
Once you’ve engaged online, however, don’t drag your feet on the real-world meet-up. The point of dating sites for divorced parents is graduating beyond them, so bite the bullet and try to meet up in person if you’re comfortable enough.
How to Start Dating Again After Divorce
If you’ve been out of the dating game for a while, you might feel out of touch with the landscape. Don’t feel too intimidated! Romance still functions on the same principles it always has. It just entails far more dates. And for that reason, there are a few areas that you should focus on:
Don’t Bring Your Baggage Along for the Ride
One of the most important tips for dating after divorce is to make sure you’ve cleared your baggage from the overhead bin. Take too much of it along for the ride, and you’ll bring the entire plane down. So, we would advise working through your pain before you create that first dating profile.
Insecurities, fears, and resentments could cause you to lose Mr. or Mrs. Right. If your marriage broke you, therapy is probably the most powerful thing you can do to improve your future dating odds.
Be Clear About What You Want
Like most things, divorced dating is at its best if you have a clear goal in mind. That might mean getting out there to test the waters, but it might also mean finding your next life partner. The clearer you are about your desired outcome, the less likely you are to hurt others (and even yourself).
Stay Safe
Online dating means sharing tables with strangers, so be aware of your surroundings. Meet in a public place, arrange a phone check-in with a friend before you leave and, if possible, do a little background research too. Most importantly, trust your intuition. It will keep you safe.
If You Aren’t Quite Ready, Keep it Light
If you can’t answer the question, “Am I ready to date after divorce?” you needn’t swear off dating entirely. There’s no rule that requires you to seek your next marriage partner. You can safely test the waters without giving your heart away.
Remember, this is supposed to be fun. A little light-heartedness goes a long way!
Did you know that more than 250 million people have active online dating profiles? It doesn’t take long to find the one that’s just right for you!