Useful Tips on How to Prepare for a Custody Evaluation and Gain an Edge in Your Custody Battle!
By Reena Sommer
Custody evaluations are very important in determining child custody and access during contested divorce proceedings. Divorce courts give considerable weight to the recommendations of the evaluator.
Below are some guidelines that will assist when you prepare for your evaluation with the expectation of ending your custody battle.
- Arrive on time at your evaluation interview.
- Dress neatly and conservatively.
- Be honest. The custody evaluator will likely check out your statements with collaterals and/or other sources.
- If the custody evaluator chooses to use psychological testing, ABSOLUTELY answer honestly. The tests are designed to detect defensiveness and lies and unless you are an expert in psychometric testing, you are unlikely to fool them.
- Be sincere. The custody evaluator can usually detect over embellishment and insincerity.
- It’s all right to be nervous; most people are.
- It’s all right to cry and/or show emotion; many people do.
- Answer questions directly and to the point.
- Make sure you pay attention to what the evaluator is asking.
- Take your time when answering a question. If you do not understand what is being asked, feel free to ask the evaluator to explain what he/she means.
- If the custody evaluator asks that you provide additional documentation, do so as promptly as possible or communicate any concerns about getting it.
- If you provide the custody evaluator with names of collaterals, it is a good idea to inform them in advance that they may be contacted so that they can prepare to speak on your behalf.
- If the custody evaluator is observing you with your children, be attentive to their needs and focus on their interests and not yours.
- Present yourself as being reasonable and placing the concerns of your children above all
The following is a list of things to avoid doing during a custody and access evaluation…
- DO NOT speak badly of your spouse/partner unless the custody evaluator asks you to comment on what you perceive to be the problems between you.
- DO NOT make threatening comments about your spouse/partner or anyone else to the evaluator.
- DO NOT harass the custody evaluator with phone calls.
- DO NOT drop by the evaluator’s office without an appointment.
- DO NOT call the custody evaluator to see if the report is completed.
- DO NOT prep your children to say negative things about their other parent. The custody evaluator has ways of telling if this has happened.
Custody evaluators recognize the stress people are under during this
process and take this into account when assessing family members. If you
are feeling stressed and anxious, it is all right to acknowledge it and
allow the custody evaluator to help allay some of your concerns.
Copyright Reena Sommer
Dr. Reena Sommer is an internationally recognized family life and divorce consultant and the author of “Preparing for a Custody Evaluation: Things You REALLY Need to Know!”