Why does anyone need a life coach to heal from divorce?
After all, there are plenty of books, church groups, free peer groups on facebook.
But, if you’ve been at this awhile and aren’t feeling better after all this time, you might be wondering if there’s something better out there.
If just reading a book or getting a prescription for anti-depressants or talking to other divorced people really worked, it wouldn’t take up to five years to finally feel whole and happy after divorce.
For many people there simply is no cookie-cutter approach.
There are no “5 stages of grief” to go through.
It’s not true that if you just let enough time pass, you’ll have learned all the lessons you need to learn and your life will be as good as new.
Most women do heal, to an extent, after divorce, but, just like men, they may never come to peace with their ex, and their relationships going forward may never be free from the anger and distrust that developed during the marriage and divorce process.
So what’s divorce recovery coaching all about?
Divorce coaching (in my opinion) is all about learning to be you. The you that was chipped away at while you valiantly worked at being a good wife, mother, daughter, friend, and career woman. The you that you finally are kind-of forced to get to know, if you really want to thrive in your post-divorce life.
A great coach will believe that every single woman is unique and her emotional healing needs to be as unscripted and unique as she is. And a good coach will know whether she’s the right person to work with a particular client, and will know if the potential client is ready to start healing (or whether she still needs more time to be angry, sad, and to grieve her losses).
But, why work with a coach one on one?
Aren’t there cheaper ways to do the same thing . . .
Everyone wants 5 steps or 7 steps or 10 steps to feel better. In my early days as a coach, I wrote lots of programs like that for my divorcee clients. But I always went back to one-to-one coaching as my zone of brilliance, where I could truly guarantee that my clients would be completely thrilled and stunned by the results they received.
Was it because my self-directed online programs weren’t packed with value, gorgeous to look at, and always overdelivered on what women received for a low price? No, they were (and are) amazing, amazing programs. But, to receive the value, you have to work the program — sit down, read the ebook, listen to the audios or videos, and do it.
This is why I know know know that one-to-one coaching is absolutely the most powerful way to recover emotionally and quickly from being blindsided by divorce.
So, why not just ask asking friends for advice, hang out on facebook divorce groups, or going from freebie to freebie?
I am a nerd, so I am the 1% of womankind who actually works and completes any program or book that I buy. When I first started out in coaching, I assumed that any woman who was in a great deal of emotional pain from her divorce and was ready to do something about it would dive into my low-cost online programs like crazy.
Lots of women were grabbing up my free (and nearly free) programs back when I was offering them, but dropped the ball immediately.
Is this their fault? No way!
Because these are women who are in the midst of depression and anxiety about what life will hold. It’s a tremendously scary time. A time when, having the right person to get on a call with once a week and guide you through steps created just for you is everything.
While I’ve created lots of stand-alone programs with step-by-step healing techniques based on what have been favorites with my coaching clients, when you invest in a one-to-one relationship with me, every minute of every call is tailored to you. Not what has worked with most other clients, but uniquely you.
You get back years of happy life that you would have missed, if you just kept trying to find a free way to do it. (And, I have many levels of coaching, with the most affordable one at just $60 at the time of this writing.)
My job is to learn what will motivate you when you’re just not feeling like moving forward. My job is to know when to push a little and when to give you space. When to remind you of what you wanted to get out of our coaching together and check in to see whether your goals have changed. To make sure that you receive the benefits that you told me, at the start, would make this worth it for you.
We find out, together, what you want your new life to be like. And how to get there. You’ll learn things about yourself that, perhaps, you never even knew. How your success story, and your happiness, may look very different from the lives of other people you know. And why that’s beautiful. Because it’s you.
You want someone who has been through what you’ve been through. Someone who has been turned inside out as a human being, and has healed herself as well as assisted in healing others after a difficult marriage and a devastating divorce.
Only someone who has been through it herself, and struggled with it herself, can coach others on how to become more whole as a person and how to have a better chance at finding love and companionship in the future.
Why is this true, though? Because only the person who has struggled herself, and has deeply sought an answer — in the service of other women as much as for herself — can bring fresh and surprising insights into the healing process.
That’s why you may not have found what you were looking for in talk therapy or in your local divorce group.
And that’s why you might want to consider a life coach who specialized in emotional healing from divorce. Sending you love on your journey!