I Left The Abuse


by BlueClover


I finally had enough of the Verbal and Emotional Abuse after being married for seven years and having two kids. Ladies, don’t wait until you have a scar on your face to prove you have had enough. Emotional & verbal abuse leaves deeper scars that no wound could ever show.

I thought I married a very intelligent and good looking man. For the most part, he played the perfect part to everyone’s eyes. Unfortunately, this “wonderful’ man had deep wounds that were never healed (broken home, unstable parents, drug addiction). My husband could have had Borderline Personality Disorder or Bi Polar, I am not sure. I can’t diagnose the man, but I know in my heart he needed help.

His moods were HOT and Cold. When he was under stress, I knew I was going to have a bad day. I took a lot of verbal bantering; I often thought I married a 7 year old. I was constantly accused of cheating on him. There was never any proof because it never happened. It got to a point that I was being spied on. He followed me through the IPhone Apps, he knew what songs I was downloading and what I was doing on my computer, plus, I completely lost all control of finances. I was lucky to even have 20 bucks in my pocket.

I can make every excuse for this man, but the truth is… a man who cannot control himself and his emotions is not our problem. It is theirs and the sooner you realize this, the sooner you can get out. Trust your gut and your deep instincts, if it feels wrong IT IS WRONG.

He will make you feel shame and guilt for trying to leave. He may verbally banter and abuse you for taking a stand. He may even make you feel like you are the crazy one that needs help. Don’t take it, leave. He will NEVER change, let me repeat, he will NEVER change.

I left 3 times. THREE TIMES, and each time he promised to change. Each time he promised to get therapy, another time we tried God, he refused any help. Each time I came back, he promised he would never raise his voice or hurt me again.

As much as I would like to take credit that I left on my own, THANK THE LORD my parents intervened with this horrific relationship, and I will advise to anyone going through emotional and verbal abuse by a partner, TELL SOMEONE. Silence is the greatest enemy in all of this. The more people you tell the easier it will be for you to get help and leave. Speaking out will also cause your abuser to feel some shame and grow a conscious that what he is doing is wrong. My heart goes out to anyone ever going through this horrific period in their life. Please don’t be someone who says they have been with their abuser for 20 or 30 years. Your soul is talking to you, listen to it.

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